Always Starting Over
by chenzel-is-life
Summary: Heartbroken and lonely, Idina Menzel is struggling to deal with her divorce behind closed doors... but when an unexpected visitor shows up at her apartment one night, everything changes. Chenzel - Idina's POV, for now. Takes place sometime during the spring of 2014.
1. A Bittersweet Visitation

**A/N: **Hello! So this is me trying my hand at a Chenzel story. This is all new to me, but they are definitely my OTP so I just had to write something for them. I hope this story does them justice. I'm looking for more feedback and criticism on this story, so it would make my life if you left reviews. I'm rating this teen because it's pretty mild... if there is going to be smut, I'll give a heads up, but I don't think there will be. I tagged this as drama/romance, but there isn't too much drama as far as I know. Thank you for reading! Enjoy! :)

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I didn't want to believe that my marriage had actually fallen through. I was trying to hold on as best as I could... but I later realized that it had already been over between us for quite some time. As much as I would like to believe that we tried to make it work, we just didn't. When our son came along, he brought us closer together for a bit... but the moment things got too complicated, it was as if we both just took it as an excuse to give up. We didn't _want_ to try anymore. We both knew what was happening... but we didn't even try to stop it. We just faded.

At first, I thought it wouldn't be much of a big deal. I hardly saw him much anymore anyway, so would it even be that different? I think I may have been in shock. I was numb and unfeeling...

But before I knew it, he'd already moved on. All of the memories came flooding back... I was just furious with him. Did I really mean that little to him? After all those years? After giving birth to his _son_?

Unfortunately, I was just as heartbroken as I was furious. How could he do this to our family? To me? We'd loved each other at one point, had we not? The saddest part was that with everything that had been happening, it was too difficult to remember the good times. I couldn't help thinking that maybe it was something _I'd_ done wrong. I often found myself wondering what made him stop loving me... I'd been so foolish to think that everything would turn out perfectly in the end.

I had to keep my insecurities hidden, though. I always kept a smile plastered on my face for as long as I could stand it – for my son, for the press, for the fans... I couldn't let them think that I was destroyed by something as simple as marriage. Celebrities got divorced and remarried all the time, didn't they? Of course my marriage meant a lot to me, but... I couldn't act like it. I couldn't risk putting a seed of doubt in their minds, because _this_ wasn't going to stop me from living my life, or from doing anything differently. I had to keep going, no matter how I felt about my predicament.

I eventually slipped back into the numbness – what with everything going on, it was easy to forget about the whole fiasco, but not all the time – this was thanks to the media that seemed to be publishing too many articles about our split. I _did_ have the success of my new movie and my new show to focus on, though – and of course, my four-year-old son always kept me on my toes.

At night, however... it would all usually hit me pretty hard. It was okay, though – because at night I was allowed to be upset. Nobody was around to see me, and I usually ignored my phone for a while... but one night, I had an unexpected visitor.

I had been lying on my bed curled up in the fetal position, just because I didn't feel like doing anything else. I wasn't even thinking about anything in particular. I was just sad, and that frustrated me. Could I at least have a _reason_ for being so sad?

A noise suddenly jolted me out of my self-pitying thoughts. I could've _sworn_ it was a knock on my apartment door... but who on earth could it be? It was almost 11:30... Who would be showing up there so late at night? And _why_?

Hesitantly, I got up from my bed to go see who it was. It crossed my mind that I could just ignore it and go to bed – but at that point I was far too curious...

I wiped my face of the few stray tears that had leaked from my eyes and straightened out the sweater I was wearing. I then realized that my hair was all frizzy, I was barely wearing any makeup, and I probably looked like a complete mess... I felt sorry in advance for whoever was about to see me in this wretched state.

I looked through the peephole in the door and was immediately surprised at who I saw – well, who I _thought_ I saw. It couldn't be... could it?

I unlocked the door and tentatively opened it. An all-too familiar petite blonde woman wearing a floral-printed summer dress with about 3-4 inch high cork wedges. She looked up at me, smiled a bit timidly but hopefully, and waited for me to say something.

I blinked, not being able to hold back the huge smile that suddenly came over my whole face. "Kristin?!"

"Surprise!" she grinned back, extending her arms out to me. I immediately enveloped her in a gigantic bear-hug right there in the doorway, burying my face in her hair. I couldn't believe she was actually there. I'd missed her so much... I hadn't seen her in so long, and the realization of that upset me.

After hugging her for maybe a bit longer than necessary, I pulled back slightly to look at her. "I'm so happy to see you, Kris," I told her gently.

"I'm happy to see you, too, Dee," she stared back at me intently. Her expression was soft; her eyes were deep, liquidy pools of blue... Her beautiful smile just made my heart soar. She really did seem happy to see me. God, how I'd missed her...

I suddenly realized that we'd just been standing there in the doorway staring at each other as if we were both in some kind of weird trance. I snapped out of it, laughing awkwardly. "I'm sorry, I should invite you in..." I took her hand and led her inside. "What are you doing here?" I couldn't help but ask.

She sighed, flashing me a bit of a sheepish smile. "It's, uh... kind of a long story. I'm sorry for showing up like this."

I shook my head, still in a little bit of awe that she was actually there, in my apartment. I think I'd missed her a bit _too _much. "No, no; I don't mind, honestly. I'm really glad you came here, actually... I just wish I had been able to clean up a bit first; I look like such a mess right now," I grinned, feeling a bit awkward as I ran a hand over top of my frizzy mess of hair.

She looked at me skeptically. "Dee, please. You're always beautiful."

I blushed slightly at the compliment. "You're one to talk," I mumbled, crossing my arms and staring at my toes. She always did this to me – she somehow had the ability to make me feel like a big awkward, embarrassed turd. "Do you need anything? Do you want like a tea or coffee? Or something else to drink? Or to eat? Anything?" I blurted out, wondering what had come over me.

Kristin giggled – _god _I'd missed that, too! "No, sweetie; I'm alright, thank you. I just came here to talk to you... if that's okay with you."

"No no, of course; that's absolutely fine with me! We need to catch up, anyway," I smiled at her a bit timidly. It was seriously upsetting me, realizing that we barely kept in touch anymore. I was about to invite her into my living room, when I noticed her shoes. "You might want to take those off first, though," I grinned at her a bit sheepishly, gesturing to the plush carpet lining the floors of my apartment.

She huffed out a little sigh. "Alright, alright," she said, giving me a little bit of a defeated look as she kicked her wedges off, losing a few inches of height in the process. I couldn't help but smile wider. Even though I'd known her for years, I still couldn't believe how tiny she really was. She caught me smiling at her, and I could tell she was becoming a little bit abashed without her heels on. "Are you happy now?"

I giggled, taking her hand again and leading her over to my living room couch. "I'm sorry, honey; I just didn't want you to fall and hurt yourself."

She shot me an expression that was both incredulous and annoyed as we sat down. "I'm a grown woman, for Pete's sake."

"Oh Kristin, you know you don't need your heels right now anyway... it's just me – and you know I love you the way you are," I blurted out once again.

She just looked at me pointedly. "Yes Dee, of course."

I stared at her for a moment, probably with a glazed-over expression on my face as I tapped my fingers rhythmically on my jeans. I seemed to be zoning out a lot tonight. Snapping out of it, I cleared my throat a bit awkwardly. "So uh, how are things with you, Kris?" I asked her, wanting to ease her into whatever she wanted to talk to me about, even though I was practically dying with curiosity at that point.

"Oh, things are good... busy, but good," she said, nodding a bit. "I just finished filming my new movie in LA, so that's why I'm back here, finally... I've got that concert in London coming up soon, and then... mostly just rehearsals for the new show, other than that!"

I felt a smile spread across my face. I was happy for her. "That's great, Kris! I'm glad to hear that you've been busy. I bet you'll be so wonderful in London."

She returned my smile. "Thank you, honey. How about you, how are things? How's the show? How's Walker?" she asked me, seeming to be genuinely interested.

"The show has been really awesome so far; I'm loving it. And Walker..." I beamed, as I was always happy to talk about my little boy. "He's always been great. Oh, I just love him to bits... I can't believe you still haven't met him!"

She shook her head in disbelief. "I know; I really want to! How old is he now? Four? Goodness, how the time flies... We need to set up a playdate sometime soon."

"Yes, absolutely!" I grinned. "I'm sure he'll love you."

"Well, I hope so," she chuckled.

"He will! Don't be silly," I smiled, placing a hand on her knee. A short moment of silence passed. "So anyway, how are things in that love life of yours? You've still got a man, don't you?"

That was when her expression faltered. "Oh, right. About that..."

_Oh no_, I thought with a frown as I took her hand in mine. I sure hoped that she was alright, and that nothing too awful had happened...

She sighed gently. "Dana and I broke up last week. I found out that he'd been cheating on me..."

My mouth flopped open in shock and horror. From my knowledge, they hadn't even been together for very long! "Oh my goodness, Kristin... I'm so sorry, sweetie..." I said sympathetically as I squeezed her hand gently.

"Oh, it's alright, honey... The thing is, I thought I was going to be upset about it – but I really wasn't. Things had been going pretty well up until then, but for some reason I didn't even care all that much when I found out! I guess maybe I'm used to it by now," she said, sighing again with a shrug of her shoulders. "Now that I'm looking back on it, I'm realizing that he wasn't really anybody that special... it obviously wasn't meant to be. I'm not very hung up over it, I guess. Maybe the right person will come along someday..."

Her words made my heart feel sore in its chest. "Well, I'm glad that you're not too upset about it, but... you know that no one should be treating you like that, Kris. You deserve someone who truly loves you and wants to stay faithful to you and only you," I told her, feeling like an absolute hypocrite as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Suddenly, I noticed that a huge lump was rising in my throat... I felt so awful.

She gave another little shrug. "Well, it is what it is. Like I said, maybe I'll find somebody someday..."

I nodded slowly. "I think that true love will always find a way," I said quietly.

She simply regarded me with a very stoic expression. "Do you?"

I had to tear both my gaze and my hand away from hers. I was feeling entirely too many things at once...

"Idina, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I didn't mean it like..." she trailed off. I heard her sigh again from behind my turned head, and I felt her hand encase itself around mine this time. She stayed silent for what felt like a long time. "I forgot what... what happened with... Taye..."

_Fuck._ I looked down at my lap, nodding, my lips pressed into a taut line. Hearing his name left a sour taste in my mouth. It made the hair on the back of my neck stand up on end. It made me want to clench my hands into angry fists... Yet to my dismay, tears still stung at my eyes. I was starting to hate him for what he'd done to not just me but to our family. If only I had known earlier. Things could have turned out so differently. I could've been so much happier...

"Did you?" I couldn't help but ask as I angrily wiped at my eyes, refusing to let a single tear fall across my cheek. How could she have forgotten? She probably thought I deserved it, after what I did to her...

"Idina, please don't be like that... You know me much better than to think that I would be spiteful like that, baby; I know you do. You know that I care about you and that I love you... despite everything," she told me gently, brushing her thumb across my hand comfortingly.

I just couldn't bring myself to say anything – everything just hurt too much. I was also too busy concentrating on not crying.

I felt her carefully tuck the sheet of my long raven-coloured hair behind my ear, and I could just sense that she could now see the pain that I felt splayed right across my face. Tucking her fingers underneath my chin, she gently turned my head towards her, but I didn't meet her eyes. I just couldn't... but to my dismay, a single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

I could see the frown on Kristin's face, though I still wasn't looking directly at her. "Oh, Idina, sweetheart..." she murmured. "Come here, baby," she said as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I submitted to leaning against her, resting my head carefully on her shoulder. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut with all of my might, but somehow the tears still seemed to keep pouring out. "I'm so sorry, honey. I didn't mean to upset you," she said quietly as she cradled me close to her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

I exhaled a shaky breath as my lip quivered nervously and I clutched Kristin close to me. "I gave up so much for him... and he repays me with a fucking _divorce_."

In all honesty, I loved Kristin more than anything... but Taye had always been good to me – and I'd given him my word. I knew it wouldn't be right to leave him, even after I'd spent so much time cheating on him with Kristin... and I was fine being with Taye... but leaving her was one of the hardest things I'd ever done – and the only reason I'd done it was for him and our marriage.

I felt her lean her head against mine, holding me close to her and stroking my arm as I lost all of my remaining resistance and starting sobbing into her shoulder. "Oh Dee, my poor baby, you don't deserve this..."

"B-but that's the t-thing," I countered through my tears. "I probably _do _deserve this. I cheated on him for years, and I hurt you in the process... Neither of you should want anything to do with me..."

"Idina," she said sternly, lifting my chin up so that she could look me square in the eyes. "Taye forgave you, and you making one bad choice doesn't justify him going around sleeping with other women. And as for what happened between us... both of us are to blame for it – it wasn't just you, sweetheart... and despite everything... I don't regret one minute of it. I knew we were both bound to end up hurt from it from the start, but I swear to God, Idina – it was so worth it and I would do it all over again if I could."

I just stared at her in awe for a minute – my tears seemed to have suddenly stopped. I was certain that I looked absolutely horrid at that point, but I wasn't really thinking about that. "Kris... you... you really mean that?"

She smiled at me sadly, gently wiping my cheeks. "Of course I do, baby. You'll always mean the world to me."

I just continued to stare at her in awe, wondering how on earth she was still so wonderful to me, after everything that had happened... After how I'd taken advantage of her love for my own selfish purposes... After I returned to my husband after promising her I'd leave him so many times...

I just felt absolutely awful about everything, but that didn't stop me from still caring for Kristin a lot... I'd never _stopped_ caring – we'd just drifted apart over the years. I wasn't sure if what I wanted to do next would be exactly a smart decision, but the moment seemed right, and it felt right, and... well, heck, whenever I was around Kristin, everything felt right again – even if before I felt like my world had been turned upside down.

Without further ado or contemplation, I thought, _fuck it,_ and reached up to kiss her. I sensed that she was surprised at first – but after a moment, I felt her body relax as she placed a hand against my cheek, and I felt her lips move against mine as she started kissing me back. It felt so ridiculously good to kiss her again...

The kiss deepened, and before I knew it, we were making out... Both of us were so lost in the moment that we didn't even realize what was going on, until Kristin at last pulled away from me abruptly, breathing a bit heavily. "Idina, what... what just happened?"

Suddenly I felt horrible about myself again. "Kristin, I... I... I'm so sorry," I cried out, feeling tears brim at my eyes once again as they quickly spilled over and rushed down my cheeks. "I've been so fucking awful to you, and you didn't deserve any of it... and I know you shouldn't even want to see me ever again, but I still find myself missing you all the time, and... I honestly regret going back to him every single day. I would've left him for you in a heartbeat, I just... I just didn't have the courage to do it... I loved you more than anything... No, no – I still love you, Kris... I have right from the start, and I don't think I'll ever stop," I managed to get out, though my tears were coming down thick and heavy at this point.

I could hardly see Kristin looking me over worriedly through my cascades of tears pouring down my face. "Idina, Idina, shh, baby, shh... Please calm down, sweetie... Come on, it's alright... Idina. Look at me, baby," she said finally, putting her hands on my face and making me look her in the eyes. "I _forgive_ you, sweetheart. Heck, I forgave you a long time ago... I love you far too much to hold anything against you! It did hurt to see you leave, but I understand why you did it, honey – you don't need to apologize for that... and I still don't regret what we did, baby. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, even if it only lasted for a little while... I love you, okay? There's no need to be so upset, sweetheart. It's all in the past now," she told me intently while once again wiping my tears from my face. Planting a kiss on my cheek, she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me close to her.

I sighed, hugging her back and revelling in the feeling of her embrace. "I can't believe you're really here, Kris... You don't know how much I've missed you," I murmured, nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck.

"Actually, I do know... I tried dating so many people... but none of them ever compared to you, baby," she said quietly back to me, and I felt her kissing my cheek. "I love you..."

I pulled back just slightly so that I could kiss her again... and god, was it ever wonderful. Even after so many years, kissing her was still so familiar... and we took our time. We kissed each other slowly, wanting to savour it...

After a few moments, we both pulled away slowly, leaning our foreheads together; our faces nearly still touching. "I love you so much," I murmured against her lips as we kissed each other a couple more times. Our eyes met for a minute and we both smiled, causing us both to burst into giggles.

"There's that beautiful smile again," she said, smiling herself as she gently wiped any remaining tears from underneath my eyes.

I laughed a bit again; I just couldn't stop smiling. "So are we okay, Kris?"

"I don't think we've ever been better, honey," she said, her eyes gleaming at me happily as I felt her thumb gently brush my cheek. "Are _you _okay, Dee?"

"Much better, now that you're here," I smiled, sitting up straight as I took her face in my hands. "Can we start over, baby? I promise it'll be different this time. We can be together whenever we want to... We won't have to worry about anything... and I _promise _that I _only _want you – and I swear to god that I really mean it this time, Kris. I've made the mistake of losing you once before, and I never want it to happen again."

The loving expression that Kristin gave me in return made my heart soar. "Oh, Dee... You don't know how much I've always wanted to hear you say that," she told me, taking my hands in hers and pressing a kiss to them. "There is nothing that I would ever want more than that. I love you so much, baby; I always will."

Neither of us could stop smiling as we both leaned in to kiss each other again. I just couldn't believe that this was really happening... Not only was she really there, but she was kissing me – and did it ever feel amazing. Everything felt so right with her... I found myself almost forgetting that the rest of the world actually existed. There was just her, and me, and that's all that seemed to really matter at the moment...

"Kristin?" I whispered against her lips.

"Yes, baby," she murmured softly as she continued to kiss me.

"You're... you're okay with this, right?" I looked up at her worriedly.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"This isn't happening too quickly for you?" I breathed, my heart pounding in anticipation.

"No," she shook her head, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "Nothing has changed for me, Dee... but if you want to take it slower—"

"No," I cut her off, shaking my head as well. I smiled, smirking a little bit as I leaned back in again. "I like this..."

Our kisses deepened and got more intense as we leaned back against the couch. I gripped her waist with one hand as the other slid across her jaw. Kristin's legs were wrapped around my hips while her hands gripped my face, making sure that it never strayed too far from hers... I knew it was a bit too soon for sex, despite our history, but I found myself getting a bit... antsy...

"Make love to me, Dee," Kristin said suddenly, instantly grabbing my attention.

"You... you want me to?" I asked her hesitantly. I couldn't even think straight – everything seemed to be happening all at once... All I knew was that whatever _was_ happening felt really right.

She just nodded with a small smile on her lips. I felt as if she was staring deep into my soul as she concentrated on my eyes. "Please, Dee?" she added, her smile broadening as she tucked another strand of my wavy hair behind my ear. "It's not like you haven't done it before."

I blushed slightly, feeling an all-too familiar tingling sensation spreading all throughout my body. "Alright... you know I can't say no to you," I smiled back, leaning down to kiss her softly on the lips. "But we can't wake Walker up."

"I'll try my best not to," she smirked. I giggled at her comment, kissing her once more before I scooped her up in my arms and carried her off to my bedroom...


	2. Far Too Early In The Morning

**A/N: **Thanks to those who favourited and subscribed! Here is the second chapter – I hope you enjoy it, and reviews would be lovely. Thank you for reading!

I awoke the next morning feeling confused and a bit disoriented. Why did I feel like I'd just been run over by a truck? Before I opened my eyes, the first thing I really noticed was that I felt some kind of a draft... I soon realized that this was due to the lack of clothing I was wearing. What the heck? Why couldn't I remember anything from last night?! My eyes flew open and I nearly panicked, wondering what the hell had happened as I put two and two together – I was stark naked, the sheets were a tangled mess, I was holding someone close to me and... _Shit! _Who the hell had I slept with?!

I then looked down at the face of the woman sleeping soundly in my arms, and I instantly relaxed. It was Kristin. I remembered everything now... and what a night it had been.

I thought it might feel slightly weird to wake up next to her again, since it had been so long since we'd last... well, you know... but I was wrong. Nothing had ever felt so _right_.

I'd never really completely forgotten about Kristin. It's true that it's easy to forget about certain things with the hustle of daily life... but I was alone and had time to really think, my mind would wander back to her... I'd think about all the time we'd spent together, and Wicked... Her beautiful smile, her adorable little chuckle, her southern drawl... I'd miss her, and think about the happy times – the happy times that weren't really that happy, because every time I went back home to Taye, it would all come to an end.

I'd often think about what would've happened if I'd stayed during all those mornings that I'd left, and all those nights that I'd insisted on leaving... If I'd just said 'fuck it' and stayed for good. What would my life be? Would we have stayed together? Would we have been happier? I'd always thought it was so sad and ironic that I'd left the love of my life for my husband, who had just ended up leaving me anyway. I always thought, if only I had've known... but things would've been so different.

Now, I just couldn't believe that she'd come back into my life. Sure, we were a bit older now, and we'd lost some time between us... but now we could finally be together, and we had Walker, too.

I couldn't help but smile – she was so calm and peaceful in her sleep. Her usually animated expression was now soft and composed, and her breaths were steady and quiet. I pulled her closer to me gently, placing a kiss on the top of her head, and I felt her arms tighten around my waist as well. Maybe she wasn't as asleep as I thought.

"Good morning, baby," I whispered to her with a smile on my lips as I placed gentle kisses up her neck. I felt her squirm a bit in my arms; I could tell she was trying not to smile.

"Mmmm..." she murmured, her eyes remaining shut.

"Do you plan on getting up anytime soon?" I asked her with a smirk on my face. She always liked to sleep in.

Her only response was a loud groan into my shoulder.

I chuckled a bit. "Okay, you can have a bit longer – but Walker will be up soon..."

"Mmkay," she mumbled drowsily. I was surprised she even heard me.

We both ended up falling back asleep together, for about another half hour. I stirred in my slumber, and realizing what had happened, jolted myself awake. "Oh my god," I muttered, feeling my eyes go wide. "Shit!" How long had I been asleep for?!

I reached over for my phone on my bedside table, unfortunately ripping myself from Kristin's grip in the process. I exhaled a sigh of relief and flopped back down on the bed as I saw the time. It was only 9:30.

I turned my head back in Kristin's direction, who was now quietly grunting in frustration; her eyes were still closed as her hand felt around the empty space directly next to her, looking for me. "Dee... I'm cold... come back..." she pouted, her eyebrows furrowed in her distress. Even when she was barely awake she was adorable.

I laughed to myself and let my phone slide out of my hand and onto the throw rug on the floor, rolling back over towards her. Covering her up with some of the sheets, I wrapped my arms around her again and kissed her on the nose, making her smile. "Good morning, for real this time."

"Mmm..." she mumbled, apparently still refusing to rouse herself, even though she was totally awake by now.

"You must be tired, huh?" I smirked.

She scrunched up her nose a bit, obviously trying to hide the giant grin on her face. "You're an animal, Dee..." she mumbled, resting her head in the crook of my neck.

I couldn't help but grin triumphantly. "You _so _enjoyed it."

"Whatever..." she chuckled a bit, and I could feel her warm breath on my neck. "What time is it, anyway?"

"9:30," I replied.

She leaned her head back, an exasperated expression on her face. Her eyes were _still _closed. "Why are we up so _early_?!"

"I told you, Walker's going to be up any time now. He's a little ball of energy, that one."

"What?! When did you tell me that?"

I grinned, shaking my head. "Never mind. Come on, let's get up," I kissed her lightly on the lips before getting out of bed myself.

Kristin now lay stretched out in the middle of the bed, finally peeking her eyes open. "I like seeing you from this angle," she commented, some kind of sly look on her face – her eyebrow was raised and she was _clearly _checking me out...

I raised my own eyebrow at her, blushing slightly. "Oh, _now _you open your eyes," I smirked in spite of myself, snatching up my satin robe and putting it on. "Come on! Get your ass out of bed, Chenoweth!" I said, flinging all of the sheets off of her.

She shrieked in surprise, frantically trying to cover herself up with her hands as I had bunched up all of the sheets on the bed and chucked them into the laundry hamper. "IDINA! It's _freezing_!"

I threw back my head and laughed as she hobbled off of the bed, crouching down on the floor to find a blanket to wrap herself in. "Oh, look – _now _you're awake!" I commented, wiping tears from my eyes. Man, I hadn't had a good laugh like that in _too _long.

She narrowed her eyes at me, now looking both ridiculous and adorable wrapped in some sort of blanket cocoon. "That was uncalled for."

I smirked. "Hey, it got you out of bed..."

She pursed her lips. "You know, one of these days, Dee, you're gonna get it..."

I smiled, chuckling a bit as I stepped closer to her, sliding my arms around her waist and leaning my forehead against hers. "I love you..." I said, kissing her softly and slowly. I could feel her grunt in protest.

"What is it?" I grinned, hardly pulling away from her.

"I can't be mad at you when you're doing that," she mumbled in mock-annoyance.

"That's the idea, honey," I said, still smiling as I kissed her again. "I'm so glad you spent the night, Kris."

"Me too," she grinned as she kissed me back. It really had been a wonderful night.

"Hey, wanna meet my baby?" I suddenly asked her excitedly.

A smile appeared on her face. "Yes! But I'm going to get dressed first."

I glanced down at her blanket-cocoon thing. "Yeah, you might wanna do that..."

While Kristin occupied herself in my washroom, I went to Walker's room, and slowly creaked open the door – to my surprise, he was still asleep. Part of me just wanted to let him sleep – I mean, he was so calm, and quiet... I knew that if I woke him up, that peacefulness would quickly be over. I loved Walker to death, but he could be a bit of a wild child... but then again, weren't all four-year-olds like that?

I went over and kneeled by his tiny bed, leaning over his small sleeping form. "Walker..." I whispered, giving him kisses on his cheek. "It's time to wake up, honey."

My little boy rolled over onto his back, stretching out a bit and yawning. He opened his eyes and stared at me, scrunching up his nose a bit. "Mama, your breath stinks."

I sighed. Kristin didn't seem to care, yet my four-year-old son apparently did. "That's not very nice, Walker."

He burst into a fit of mischievous giggles. "I'm sorry, mama."

I smiled, shaking my head at him as I ran a hand over his head of thick dark curls. "That's okay, honey. What do you want to eat for breakfast?"

"Umm... waffles," he decided.

"Okay sweetie. Listen, honey, I have a friend over today, so you're going to be nice and use your manners, right?"

He scrunched up his nose again, this time in confusion. "Mommy, why do you have a friend over right _now_? It's early in the morning..."

Man, the kid was far too smart for his age. I willed myself not to blush in front of my son... but how the heck was I supposed to respond to that? "It's a grown-up thing, honey."

He frowned. "Can I have a friend over?"

I smiled. "Maybe tomorrow, honey."

I turned on the TV for Walker – he always liked to watch cartoons in the morning. I wondered about our situation as I made scrambled eggs for all of us. It was a bit strange to think that Kristin and I were actually kind of together now. It was a big decision to make, what with everything going on in our lives, and always the press and the media that we had to worry about... but I knew that I wanted to be with her, no matter what. We'd waited too long already and I didn't want to waste any more time, but I knew it would be better once we'd talked it over.

A pair of arms sliding around my waist interrupted my thoughts. I turned my head to see Kristin's face right next to mine, as she was resting her head on my shoulder. "Hey, baby," I said, giving her a kiss.

She smiled. Man, how I had missed seeing those crystalline blue eyes staring back at me... "Do you need any help, honey?"

"No, that's okay; I'm almost done," I told her, shutting off the burner on the stove. "But thank you," I said as I turned around to face her, wrapping my arms around her waist and gently kissing her. "So, I told Walker that you're here, and I told him to be nice, so... if he's rude, it's not my fault," I grinned.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, Dee," she gave me a reassuring smile. "He must be a sweet boy, if he belongs to you."

I chuckled a bit. "Well, we'll see..." I smiled back and went to poke my head out of the kitchen doorway. "Walker, it's time to eat! Please turn off the TV and wash your hands first," I called out to him.

A minute or two later, Walker joined us in the kitchen. He eyed us warily as he climbed up on his chair – he could get a bit shy around new people sometimes.

"Honey, this is my friend Kristin," I told him. "Could you say hi to her please?"

"Hi," he glanced at her shyly for a split second before glancing back down at his plate.

"Hi, Walker! It's so nice to meet you," Kristin smiled at him warmly.

Walker looked at me unsurely. I nodded to him in encouragement.

"It's nice to meet you, too," he said, still a bit timid.

"My my, what impressive manners you have! Who taught you how to be so polite?"

"My mommy," he said with a knowing smile, taking a bite of his waffle.

I beamed with pride. "That's my boy," I said, and Kristin gave me an adoring look. I could tell she just loved him already.

"So what were you watching there on TV, Walker?" Kristin asked him.

"Spongebob," he told her, seeming to be warming up to her slightly.

"Oh my goodness, I _love _Spongebob! It's one of my favourite shows!" she gushed. I knew she was probably serious, too.

Walker just smiled shyly. "See, Kristin's pretty cool, isn't she?" I asked him. He glanced at the two of us and just nodded, looking at his plate. Kristin just looked absolutely delighted about this. "Don't forget to eat some of your eggs, honey. Do you think she would like to come to the park with us later?"

She looked honoured. "Well, I would _love _to! Is that okay with you Walker?"

"Yeah," he smiled, scooping up a pile of eggs with his fork. Kristin and I grinned at each other as I took her hand underneath the table, lacing my fingers through hers and squeezing it tight. It made me so happy to see them interacting with each other... Something about it made me think that it could really happen – that we could be a family – just me, Kristin, and Walker. Maybe things were going to turn out just fine after all.


	3. A Family Affair

**A/N: **Here is Chapter 3! Thank you to those who read the previous two chapters and those who are following. I really, really, really enjoyed writing this chapter for multiple reasons, so I hope you'll enjoy it. As far as updates go, they won't be as quick because I'd already had these three chapters written but I just edited them to make them better. From now on updates will probably take anywhere from a few days to maybe a week. Anyway, thank you for reading, and I hope you like this! Reviews are always much appreciated. :)

* * *

Shortly after breakfast, the three of us made our way to the park just a few blocks away. Walker walked between us, both of us holding one of his little hands. I liked the arrangement – it was a good way to keep a potentially wild four-year-old in check, and I wouldn't be tempted to grasp Kristin's hand instead. As much as I loved her, we simply weren't ready for a whole lot of PDA just yet.

The two of us snuck grins at each other as we swung Walker between us, who burst into giggles every time his feet left the ground. We may have seemed just a little bit picture-perfect, but I wasn't too concerned with that, seeing as I hadn't felt this genuinely happy in quite a while, and I didn't really care about the judgements that people would make.

We arrived at the park shortly and let Walker run wild. I couldn't help but notice the huge smile that came over Kristin's features as she watched him tackle the playground. "I have to say, Dee – I absolutely adore your son."

I made no effort whatsoever to hide the big smile on my own face. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that, Kris," I gazed at her for a moment, feeling a sudden strong urge come over me. I subtly dipped my sunglasses just slightly, scanning my view of the park. "See any paps around?"

I caught the faintest sly smile on her lips as she turned and mimicked my actions. "Nope. Coast looks clear to me," she remarked, looking back at me with an expression of satisfaction.

"Good," I smiled, snaking my arm around her waist and closing the distance between us. I leaned my head forward slightly so that our foreheads gently touched together. "I love you," I murmured, my fingers reaching up to brush her cheek for a split second as I stole a quick kiss.

The content smile on her lips made me feel at ease. "I love you too, baby," she told me quietly as we pulled back a little bit. "That was quite the bold move there, Dee," she commented, glancing up at me with a raised eyebrow as I felt her ease into my shoulder, then her fingers lacing through my own.

I chuckled a bit, brushing my thumb against her hand. "I know; I just couldn't help myself," I grinned sheepishly. "There's hardly anyone around, though – and nobody seems to be looking at us. I don't care if anybody sees us anyway, as long as they're not taking pictures."

"Couldn't agree more, baby," Kristin murmured as she rested her head lightly against my shoulder, and I couldn't resist sneaking a kiss upon the top of her head. "Wow, just look at him go," she commented as we watched Walker speedily climb up the little rock climbing wall for the umpteenth time.

I giggled. "Told you he's a little ball of energy. Come on, let's go play with him," I grinned as I grabbed her hand and led her over to the playground.

"Hey, Walker!" I chimed as I caught him at the end of the slide. He burst into giggles as I scooped him up. "Wanna play hide and go seek?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed happily and squirmed in my arms, immediately demanding to be put down.

I set him back on the ground and kneeled to his level. "OK – Kristin and I will close our eyes and count to ten, and then we'll come find you, okay?"

"Okay!" Walker agreed. "But you have to go over here first," he said, taking our hands and dragging us over to one corner of the playground.

"Okay Walker, we're gonna start counting now..." I playfully warned him as we turned around, and he dashed off right away.

We took turns, and after Kris and I had figured out all of Walker's best hiding places, I suggested a game of tag for a change of pace – much to Kristin's dismay. Although we must have looked completely berserk, we had loads of fun, and the game ultimately ended with Kristin being unable to run anymore while Walker was 'it'.

"Kris, he's going to get you!" I called out, laughing, and nearly out of breath myself.

Kristin threw up her hands in exasperation. "I'm done; I give up. You win Walker," she said in defeat, plopping herself down on the curb as Walker ran up to her.

"You're _it_, Kristin!" he announced with all the enthusiasm of a four-year-old, whacking her on the knee with the palm of his hand. "Come on, get up! You have to chase me and mommy!"

"I'm it, huh?" she just looked at him in disbelief.

"Hurry up!" he egged her on, bouncing up and down excitedly.

"I'm it, huh?!" she exclaimed animatedly, suddenly lunging forward and scooping up an unsuspecting Walker in her arms, who squealed in protest. "Now who's it?" she grinned at the squealing, squirming and laughing child in her arms.

"Let. Me. Go!" he demanded, pounding her shoulders with his tiny fists.

"Nuh-uh-uh, not so fast there, little buddy! Are you ticklish, Walker?"

"_No_!" he screeched with laughter.

"Are you sure about that?" she grinned as she tickled his stomach, and he erupted with laughter.

"No, Kristin, no!" he protested between giggles.

I couldn't help but grin from ear-to-ear as I watched the scene unfold before me, and I jogged over to join them. Kristin saw me coming, and paused her manic tickling for about a split second.

"Uh-oh, look who it is!" she warned, pointing over at me as I crept up behind him.

"Waaahhh I got you!" I exclaimed, tickling his neck while Kristin joined in again on his stomach.

"Nooo, mommy, no!" he shrieked, doubled over with laughter now. "_Stop it_!"

"What do you say, Walker?" I reminded him.

"Mercy! _Mercy!_" he squealed. I could tell he was enjoying himself.

"Alright, alright; I guess we have to stop," I said as Walker caught his breath, still giggling. I planted a kiss on his cheek, smoothing over his dark curls. "Did you have fun, baby?"

"Mhm," he nodded to me.

"That's good, honey," I smiled. "Now you can go play for a few more minutes, but I want you to say bye to Kristin first because we have to go soon, okay?"

He nodded and hopped off of Kristin's lap. My heart melted as she held out her arms and he went and hugged her. "I had lots of fun playing with you today, Walker!"

He pulled away and smiled at her shyly. "Bye, Kristin," he waved at her.

I grabbed him and pulled him into my arms before he ran off. "Good boy," I praised him, giving him a big kiss on his cheek before letting him go play for a bit longer.

I stood up and offered a hand to Kristin to help her up. "Well?" I grinned at her, and we both burst into giggles.

"Well I'm pooped... I haven't had that much fun in a long time!" she laughed. "Oh Dee, I just love Walker; he is such a sweetie. I'm so glad I came with you guys today."

I couldn't do anything but envelop her in my arms and hug her close to me, nuzzling my face in her hair and not caring who saw. "I'm so happy, Kristin. I love you two more than anything in the entire world."

She pulled back slightly so that she could look up at me. "I'm so happy that you're happy, Dee. I think that things are going to work out just fine, baby."

I smiled down at her happily. "I think you might be right, honey," I said as something else popped into my head. "By the way, can we maybe have dinner tonight, after my show? I think we should talk more about us."

She beamed at me. "That sounds just peachy to me, Dee."

"Great. I'll call you later about when and where to meet me, okay?"

"Okay, sweetie. I'll see you tonight then," she said before reaching up on her tiptoes as we shared a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby," I smiled after her wistfully as she started making her way out of the park. "I'll see you later!" I called, waving and blowing a kiss at her playfully.

When we got back to the apartment later, I left Walker with his babysitter and went to my Sunday afternoon matinee – but all I could think about was Kristin. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I was almost afraid that I wouldn't be able to focus during the show. I was so ecstatic about everything that had happened, and I just couldn't believe it... It almost felt like it was 2004 all over again. I couldn't wait to see her later on that night.

Thankfully, I was able to get my head into the game, and the show went well. My thoughts were still whirring about, however – I was tremendously excited, anxious, and slightly nervous to see Kristin again. I yearned for her company... but what seemed to be bothering me was the fact that we were going to go out... in public. And not just to the park. I found myself becoming extremely paranoid. What if people saw us and caused a commotion? What if there were paparazzi? It was rare, but I was a lot more famous than I had been ten years earlier...

I know we had been fine at the park earlier that day, but that was so different. Hardly anyone had been there, and we were able to dress down and wear sunglasses... If we went out at night, we wouldn't be able to put on disguises, and far more people would be out on the streets than in the morning. It would be too risky to show any forward signs of affection with each other, and this made the prospect of discussing our budding relationship in public seem just a little bit difficult. It wasn't that I didn't love Kristin – it was more the fear of having rumours started up about us before we ourselves even really knew where we stood with each other. If we were going to start seriously seeing each other, who knows how long we would want to keep it a secret for before breaking the news to the entire world...

The more I thought about it the more I realized that it was a bad idea.

I made my way through the hallways backstage, and I at last got to my dressing room. Digging through my purse, I found my cell phone and immediately dialed Kristin's number. I sat on my vanity stool and waited with my back to the mirror as I bit my lip and tapped my foot anxiously. A few rings went by before she picked up.

"Hi, honey! How was the show?"

I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding in at the sound of her voice. I had been on edge since I'd arrived at the theater earlier, and hearing her speak instantly soothed me. "Hi, baby. It went well, I think..."

She chuckled a bit. "I'm sure you were a spectacle, as always. Are we still on for tonight?"

I smiled to myself. "Mhm... Listen, honey... I wanted to ask you if maybe you just wanted to come over for coffee after dinner, instead of going out?"

"Yeah, sure; that's fine by me. Is everything alright, Dee?"

I bit my lip. "Yes, yes, I'm fine, baby... and it's nothing against _you_, Kris, I promise... It's just that, I'm afraid that people will see us. I-I mean, it's not that I..." I sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry. I just want us to have some privacy, that's all."

"That's okay, sweetie; I understand," she said. I hoped she wasn't upset with me. "I think you're probably right, anyway. It'll be easier for us to talk at your place."

I exhaled in relief. "Thank you for understanding, Kris. I should have Walker in bed by 8:30 tonight."

"Alright, sweet cheeks," she chimed.

I giggled at the silly nickname; I could practically hear her smiling over the phone. "I'll see you later, baby. I love you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

* * *

When I got home, I relieved the babysitter, who seemed to be thankful that she got to go home early. I decided to take Walker to the park for a bit again before dinner – and it worked out well, since he was nearly ecstatic, and I thought it would be best for him if he tired himself out. He needed to be asleep before Kristin got there, or else he definitely would _not_ want to go to bed.

When we got back, Walker occupied himself with his toys as I attempted to make something for dinner. I was _still _ridiculously distracted by my own thoughts. I just wanted to see Kristin already... and it didn't help that the hours seemed to be dragging on.

"...and they all lived happily ever after. The end."

I'd just finished reading Walker a bedtime story from the big book of fairytales that I'd bought for him. "Did you like that one, honey?"

He nodded. He always got quiet after I read him a story, and I could tell that he was getting sleepy. "Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Kristin is your friend?" he asked in his tiny kid voice.

I smiled slightly at the mention of her, but I was curious and surprised at him bringing her up. I nodded. "Yes, honey. Did you have fun with her today?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Mommy, do you love each other?"

I was extremely taken aback by this. "Do Kristin and I love each other?"

He nodded again. "Yeah."

I didn't know whether to be more surprised or confused. "Wh-Wha... Why do you ask that, sweetie?"

"Because I saw you hug and kiss her today, like you and daddy used to... and you and daddy used to love each other..."

I felt my mouth flop open in complete and utter shock. I couldn't believe that Walker – my tiny little Walker – had just said that. I couldn't believe how observant and perceptive he was. And I couldn't believe that he'd actually seen us at the park...

"Oh, Walker, honey," I murmured, scooping him up in my arms and getting into his tiny bed with him, silently hoping that the weight of me wouldn't break it. I sighed before I spoke, trying to figure out what I should even say to him.

"You know that daddy and I both love you very much, right?" I asked him, and he nodded. "Okay. Now you know how in fairytales, the princess always finds her prince charming and they all live happily ever after?"

"Yeah," he nodded again.

"Well, a long time ago, I thought that daddy was my prince charming, and he thought that I was his princess, and we loved each other very much – so we had you. And we loved you _soooo_ much that it took us a very long time to realize that he wasn't the right prince for me, and I wasn't the right princess for him... but even though we don't love each other anymore, we will both always love you no matter what, because you are very special to both of us. We'll always be your mommy and daddy. Do you understand that, honey?"

"Yes, mommy," he nodded once again. "But what about Kristin?"

I had to smile this time. The kid was persistent. "Well, honey... Kristin and I _do _love each other very much... and that's all there is to it."

"Is Kristin your _real_ prince charming?"

I couldn't help but giggle at this a little bit. "Sort of. She's my princess, but we're meant to be princesses together."

He looked a slightly confused. "But don't all princesses have princes?"

I shook my head. "No, not always. Just like there are princes and princesses, there can be princesses and princesses, and princes and princes... and if there are princes out there who want to be princesses, then that's okay too," I said with a smile. I was glad to be having this conversation with Walker, even though he was so young and I wasn't sure if he'd fully understand it. He was definitely smart for his age, though.

He seemed to ponder this over for a bit. "Really?"

I nodded once. "Really."

He was a quiet for a moment again. "So... are you and Kristin going to be like you and daddy used to?"

"Yes. But Kristin and I are going to stay together for a long time."

"Is Kristin going to be my new daddy?"

I shook my head. "No, honey. Daddy will always be your daddy. Kristin will just be like another mommy."

He looked confused again. "But you're my mommy."

"Well, now you get two mommies. How does that sound?" I grinned at him.

"Okay. I like two mommies," he grinned, and I just about imploded with joy. I hugged him close to me, unable to damper my own smile.

"That's my boy," I said proudly, kissing him on the forehead, which was followed by quite the large yawn from him. "And it looks like it's bedtime for you, little man," I said, getting out of his bed and tucking him back underneath his covers.

"Mommy's so proud of you," I said as I knelt by his bed, powdering his face so vigorously with kisses that it caused him to giggle. I usually hated referring to myself in the third person, but sometimes it just slipped out unintentionally. "I love you soooo much!"

"I love you too, mommy," he smiled his cute little smile.

"Good night, baby," I said quietly as I gave him one last kiss, and he shut his eyes before I turned off his bedside lamp. I silently tiptoed out of his room and eased the door shut behind me.

Wow. I couldn't even believe I'd just had that deep of a conversation with my four-year-old son. I was absolutely over the moon about it, though – no pun intended. I couldn't have been more thrilled that Walker was okay with Kristin being around and –

Wait a second... Kristin!

I whipped out my phone – I had a text from her saying that she was on her way. My giddiness instantly intensified as I realized that she would be there probably in a matter of minutes – with the big conversation with Walker, I'd almost forgotten about our coffee date. Almost.

I dashed into my kitchen and made a show of putting the coffee on, humming random songs that popped into my head. I felt like a teenager in love – I didn't know whether to be happy or ashamed of myself because of this.

As the coffee brewed, I wandered into the living room and sat down on my couch, antsy as ever, as I tried to occupy myself with the TV for a bit. I could hardly focus on anything – but at least it helped to pass the time.

Some minutes later, I heard a soft knock on my door and a huge grin plastered itself on my face. I turned off the TV before bounding off of my couch and over to the door. I opened it to find Kristin, smiling up at me and looking adorable as ever. "Hi, baby."

I couldn't do anything but smile like an idiot as I pulled her inside my apartment, taking her face in my hands and slowly kissing her. I could tell I'd taken her by surprise, as she didn't move for a few seconds – but then I felt her hands on my forearms as she started to kiss me back. They slid down to my waist as I reached my own hand out to close the door, resulting in the two of us leaning back against it. I then reached out to cup her face again as the kiss deepened. It had only been a matter of hours since I'd last seen her, but it felt like years. I needed her like I needed air to breathe.

After a few moments we pulled away, leaning our foreheads against each other's. I gazed down at her, a bit abashedly. "Hi, Kris."

I felt her breathing heavily beneath me as she shook her head. "Goodness, Dee... I hope that's not how you greet _all _of your visitors..."

I giggled a bit. "Nope, just you," I grinned as I stole just one more quick kiss. I leaned back so I could just look at her as I gently brushed my fingers across her cheek. "I missed you."

Her smile was practically magical. "I missed you too, baby," she said, running her fingers up and down my back absentmindedly as she stole her own quick kiss from me this time.

As corny as it may sound, it was so easy to get lost in her eyes. "Do you want coffee?" I asked her, trying to snap out of it. I knew at the back of mind that we could easily just stay there in the doorway all night.

"Well that _is _what you invited me over here for, isn't it?" she smirked at me. "I'd be very disappointed if I came all the way here and didn't get any... and you know how I feel about people who give me coffee."

I snorted. "Right," I said, rolling my eyes at her devious expression. "Just call me 'Idina the Latte Girl'."

Kristin cackled with delight at my terrible joke. She hung onto my waist from behind as I walked into the kitchen to actually get the coffee. "So how was your day, baby?" I asked her.

I felt her lean her head against my back. "Well, you know I was pretty pooped after our little park excursion... but the rest of my day was kinda boring. I took Maddie for a walk later on, and... I didn't do much else. Just relaxed," she shrugged.

"Well, that still sounds nice to me," I said, a little envious.

"It would've been more fun if you and Walker were there," she admitted.

I chuckled. It made me so happy to hear her include Walker – I couldn't wait to tell her about our little conversation that had happened. "You don't know how much I would love to do nothing with you two for a day, sweetie," I told her, taking one of her hands from around my waist and kissing it. "Or every day would be nice, too."

"It would be," she agreed, giggling. "Your show went well?"

"Mhm," I murmured. "Well, I'm assuming it did. I couldn't stop thinking about you..." I confessed, grinning a bit sheepishly.

She giggled again. "Oh, Idina, honey – you're just so smitten with me, aren't you? And you wonder why my ego is so big."

I burst out laughing. "Are you trying to say that _I'm _the one responsible for your ridiculousness?"

She sighed melodramatically. "I'm sorry to inform you like this, but yes, I'm afraid you are."

"Well, fuck. I've created a real monster, haven't I?" I murmured rhetorically as she dissolved into more giggles, nuzzling her face into my back, and I heard her grumble something about curse words. By then, I had finished preparing our coffees. "Speaking of being smitten... are you going to let go of me anytime soon?" I teased her.

"Do you _really_ want me to?" she mumbled into my back.

"No," I admitted with a smile. "I just don't want to spill this coffee on either of us... or the carpet, for that matter."

She settled with holding my hand as we made our way to my living room with our own mugs in hand, and I somehow managed to plop myself down on the couch without spilling my coffee. I then let out a little yelp as Kristin plopped herself down on my lap unexpectedly right afterwards.

"Jesus _christ_, Kris!" I exclaimed, putting my hand over my heart. "You nearly gave me a heart attack – and I almost spilled my coffee. Could you give me a little bit of a warning next time?!"

"Don't _swear_!" she scolded me, swatting at my leg as she made herself comfortable leaning against me, resting her head against my chest.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "I'm sorry for upsetting you, Mother Teresa."

"Hey, Mother Teresa was a beautiful lady! And I may be a Christian and all, but I'm pretty sure she would _not _approve of more than half of the things I've done to you in bed—"

"Oookay, _that's_ enough of that," I cut her off, hardly being able to contain my whooping laughter. "What on earth am I going to do with you?"

"I can think of a few things," she glanced back at me to grin at me deviously.

I snorted again. "_O_kay, well... we can talk about that later," I assured her with a smile, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"Good," she grinned in satisfaction, lacing her fingers through mine. "So what did you want to talk to me about, Dee?"

"Oh my goodness Kris, you will not believe the conversation I had with Walker right before he went to sleep," I immediately blurted out.

"Really? What happened?" she asked me as she turned around in my lap to face me, showing a genuine interest.

"Well... he mentioned you!"

Kristin's hands flew up to cover her mouth in surprise. You'd have thought that I'd just told her the best news of her life. "He did?! Really? What did he say?!"

I couldn't help but giggle at her excited reaction. "Well, every night when I can, I read him a fairytale from this big book that I got him... and when I was done, he asked me if we were friends, because that's what I've referred to you as before. So I said yes... and then he asked me if we love each other!"

Her mouth flopped open in surprise. "What?!" I swear, the pitch of her voice went up like, two octaves. Damn sopranos. "You're kidding!"

I shook my head. "Nope – no joke! So I said Walker, why do you ask... and he said that he saw us hug and kiss and the park, just like Taye and I used to... and that we used to love each other."

Kristin gasped, her hands covering her mouth again, except this time she looked upset. "Oh my goodness... Dee..."

I sighed. "I know." That comment had upset me, too; especially since it had come from my little man. "So I made up this whole analogy about princes and princesses in fairytales... and I basically explained to him that even though Taye and I don't love each other anymore, we would both always love him because he's our son... and he was basically like yeah, but what about Kristin?"

She laughed. "Oh, he's too funny!"

I couldn't hold back my smile before telling her the rest. "So I told him yes, we do love each other very much. Then he asked me if you were my _real_ prince charming, because I'd said that I'd thought that Taye was my prince charming, but he didn't turn out to be. So I said kind of – but we're meant to be princesses together. So he said, aren't princesses supposed to be with princes? And I said no, not always... and then I explained to him that there are princes and princes, and princesses and princesses and whatnot... and then he asked me if you were going to be his new daddy, and I told him that Taye would always be his daddy, and that you could be like another mommy, and he said 'but you're my mommy'. So I said, well now you get two mommies – and he just said, 'okay, I like that'. Can you believe that?" I finished, grinning from ear-to-ear.

Kristin had silently listened to that whole thing, her hands still covering her mouth – she looked like she was about to cry. "Dee, I... that's... that's so wonderful, baby," she squeaked out right before she burst into tears, covering her eyes with her hands in a frugal attempt to hide it from me.

My heart practically disintegrated in my chest – I just couldn't handle seeing her cry. "Kris, baby, what's wrong, sweetheart?" I exclaimed, immediately wrapping my arms around her and rubbing her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"It's just that... I just... I never thought that I would have a family, Dee," she managed to whimper out through her tears. "I wanted to settle down with someone... I've wanted it for so long, and it just... It just never happened... I was always too busy working and waiting for 'the right guy' to come along..."

I felt my heart squeeze painfully in my chest as I hugged her even closer to me. "Oh, honey..." I murmured, resting my cheek against her forehead. "Well you're a part of ours now," I smiled down at her softly as I tried to brush some of her tears away with my thumb.

Her tears slowed a bit and she exhaled a deep breath, wiping under her eyes. "I'm sorry, Dee; I'm being so silly..."

I shook my head. "No you're not, baby," I assured her, gently lifting up her chin. "Look, sweetheart... If this is really what you want... I would love for us to have this family together, Kris."

"I... Dee... you would?"

"Of course! I always used to wish that we could start a family; I always wanted with you more than I ever wanted it with Taye... and now we can," I said with a smile.

"Oh, Dee!" she exclaimed, jumping up to wrap her arms around my neck. I giggled, hugging her back as she kissed me on the cheek. "I love you so much."

I leaned back ever so slightly, just so that I could look into her eyes. "I love _you_," I murmured before leaning back in to kiss her.

The kiss deepened, and before we knew it, we were making out again. Somehow we ended up lying across the couch with me on top of her. Kristin pulled away for a moment, her hand resting upon my jaw. "Is there any way we can continue this conversation... tomorrow, maybe?" she asked me with a bit of a sly smile upon her lips.

"I think that's doable," I smiled back at her before kissing her again and pulling her up with me. She took my hand and led me off the couch, dragging me in the direction of my bedroom.

_Looks like it's going to be another sleepless night_, I thought to myself. But I wasn't dreading it this time.


	4. Idina's Sleepless Night

**A/N: **Hello everyone, I'm back FINALLY. Sorry I took so long to update; writer's block is a total **bitch. **This chapter is kind of short – well, shorter than the last one, at least. I think if I make them slightly shorter, I'll be quicker at updating because this one took me a lot less time than I thought it would once I got into it. One big **WARNING **for this chapter: it jumps _right _into smut. Well, I don't know if it's super graphic or what... Please let me know if you think I need to change the rating. I tried to do the whole 'foreplay' thing, but it just wasn't working out for me, so, there you have it. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! I really, _really _value your feedback and support, so thank you for that. :)

* * *

"Oh my god... Kristin... Kris... KRISTIN!" I panted, my eyes nearly rolling back into my head. She was driving me absolutely insane – but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it...

"Dee, shush! You're going to break your own 'no-screaming' rule..."

"Oh no no no, don't stop now... _please _don't stop..." I begged her, lying there helplessly – my hair was a tangled mess, I was sleek with sweat, and my insides were practically throbbing. I couldn't give two fucks about my 'no-screaming' rule at that point. Walker could sleep through it...

She shimmied up on top of me, so close that our faces were almost touching. She gently smoothed some of the gross matted hair away from my face. "Hmm? What's that, honey?" she smiled, kissing me softly on the corner of my mouth, then on my jaw line, then down my neck, and my shoulder... I knew she knew that she was teasing me.

I let out a half-moan, half-grunt in frustration as she continued to kiss me all over the place. I squeezed my eyes shut and moved one of her legs between my thighs in an attempt to stop the throbbing, even though I knew that it would just make it worse. "Kristin... please... don't do this, you're killing m—" I interrupted myself with a loud moan as I felt her fingers return to where I thought they rightfully belonged. "Mmm, oh my god, _yes_," I cried out, wrapping my arms around her neck and burying my face into her shoulder.

She giggled as I leaned my head back down again, gazing at me with what I could tell was a dark look in her eyes. "I love it when you start to lose your mind..." she said with a grin, leaning down to kiss me and biting my bottom lip, causing me to suppress another moan.

"You are... something else..." I managed to say, my breathing picking up as she started to move her fingers more quickly. I arched my back, pressing myself right up against her.

"Keep going baby, don't stop..." I murmured, clutching her ass in my desperation.

A few minutes later, my orgasm hit me just about as subtly as a tidal wave. I just lay there, unable to move as I blinked in bewilderment, spots clouding my vision. Kristin rolled off me and instead curled up right beside me, resting her cheek against my shoulder. I closed my eyes and sighed gently, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

"You okay, baby?" she asked me quietly, and I felt her fingers graze my chin gently.

My eyes fluttered open and I found myself gazing straight into hers. "I love you so much," I murmured, gently running my hand across her jaw line as I turned over on my side and kissed her deeply.

She smiled at me warmly, our noses brushing together. "I love you too, sweetheart."

I looked over her face for a moment as I ran my hand slowly up and down the side of her torso. I just couldn't get over how amazing I felt. "Kris... how are you _so _good in bed?"

She scrunched up her nose at me in confusion. "'How'? What the heck is that supposed to mean?!"

I giggled a bit. "Well it's just, you wouldn't expect it, with you being so innocent and all..."

She raised an eyebrow at me incredulously before sighing dramatically and rolling her eyes at me. "Honey... come on. I think by _now _you should know quite well that I'm not as innocent as I may appear to be..."

I giggled again. "I guess you're right. But you'll always be my sweet little Kristin," I smiled, nuzzling my face in the crook of her neck and planting a kiss there. I pulled back slightly to look at her. "Remember the first time that we kissed?"

She scrunched up her nose again, and I couldn't get over how adorable it was. "God, yes... how could I ever forget such a thing? Why do you ask, sweet cheeks?"

A big, goofy grin suddenly splayed itself across my face. "Oh, no reason. I was just thinking about it... You seemed pretty innocent back _then_."

She shot me a very unimpressed look, and I had to let out a little chuckle as she sighed again. "I was just so nervous... I never would've expected anything like that to happen – not in a million years... and boy, I felt like I was making a huge mistake... but I was so drawn to you, Dee – I just couldn't say no..." she admitted as her cheeks flushed deeply. "I had a biiiiig huge crush on you, and I didn't even know it until you kissed me..."

I smiled at her reassuringly, wrapping my arm further around her torso. "Well, I'm glad you made that mistake, baby. It was the best mistake I ever made," I confessed to her, gently brushing her cheek with my fingers. "But are you sure it was just a crush?" I asked her cheekily, my eyebrows raised.

She hit me playfully on the arm. "Oh, stop it. Every great love starts out with a crush."

"Not unless it's love at first sight," I waggled my eyebrows at her.

She burst out laughing at my silliness. Sometimes I still acted like an immature twelve-year-old. "Well..." she thought for a moment. "It could've been that. I just didn't know it at first." We just beamed at each other as I leaned in to kiss her again.

I could still remember it all – clear as day.

It was one of our out-of-town shows – I couldn't really remember where exactly. There had been a huge storm, and the power had gone out right in the middle of our performance. For some reason unbeknownst to me, Kristin had grabbed me and dipped me in for a big kiss right in front of everybody, just to break the silence onstage. I knew it was just supposed to be something to laugh at – it wasn't really supposed to mean anything – but there was just something about that kiss... I wasn't sure what, exactly... but whatever it was had made the small occurrence linger in my mind for a lot longer than it should have. Maybe it was the unfamiliar softness of another woman's lips against my own. Maybe it was the fact that I could still feel her kissing me long after it happened. Maybe it was that it had left me absolutely breathless, wanting more... that my lips were still tingling... and that I couldn't take my eyes off of her... or maybe it was a combination of all of those things.

Though I couldn't exactly pinpoint my motives, something had made me confront her about it later on. After we'd gone backstage, I pulled her aside.

"You kissed me."

Even in the dim light, I could see her blush slightly. "Uh, I, I'm sorry, Dee... Did I make things awkward?"

I bit my lip, seeing her discomfort. Why was I doing this? It was just supposed to be friendly... wasn't it? Why did I always make such a big deal out of everything?

I didn't even know _what _to think at that moment – all I could comprehend was my heart racing rapidly in my chest...

I shook my head and grabbed her hand, whisking her away quickly to somewhere further backstage. "Come on."

"Idina!" I heard her squeak behind me. It crossed my mind that she probably wanted some sort of explanation for my strange behaviour, but I just needed for us to be alone. Immediately.

We made our way through the halls backstage between the hordes of people. I pulled her into my dressing room without even bothering to turn the lights on.

"Idina? What's going on?" Kristin squeaked out. Her voice got really high-pitched when she was anxious. Even in the darkness I could see her blue eyes staring at me worriedly. "Look, if you're upset about what happened, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have –"

"Do it again," I blurted out, cutting off her rambling.

Her perfectly trimmed eyebrows furrowed at me in confusion. "What?"

"Kiss me again," I said, a little bit more gently.

Now her expression was one of absolute shock. "Idina, I—I—"

She slowly trailed off and swallowed nervously as I took a step closer towards her. Before I thought about it enough to change my mind, I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her deeply. Immediately I felt her body tense up in surprise, her lips frozen against mine – but after a moment, she relaxed slightly and tentatively kissed me back. I leaned her back against the door as our kiss deepened, our tongues playing with each other's. I wasn't quite sure what had possessed me to do this to my poor unsuspecting co-star... but all I could think about was how much I liked the feeling of her lips. I couldn't help but notice how good it felt to be kissing her... Everything seemed absolutely perfect for a moment, until –

"Idina!" Kristin suddenly gasped out, pushing me back from her by my shoulders. I could see that she was absolutely flustered – her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing heavily. "What the... what the _heck _are you doing?! You're _married_! You can't be kissing me!"

"You kissed _me_ first," I pointed out. I also seemed to be having trouble breathing.

Her expression hardened. "That was... I was just... it was just supposed to be a joke!" she pouted.

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Was it? Because it didn't feel like a joke to me..."

She seemed to blink at me a million times. Her mouth was hanging open and her lips were quivering nervously at their lack of ability to formulate a half-decent response. "Idina..." she whined to me, sounding like she was about to break into hysterics just at the thought of even coming close to committing adultery. "We—we—we—we can't do this... Why are you doing this? Why are you _kissing me_? You have a _husband_..."

I honestly had no idea why I had wanted to kiss her so badly. I was still fully aware of my husband, whom I usually cared for... but at that moment, I just didn't. He was simply a passing thought at the back of my mind. There was just something extremely enticing and appealing about Kristin that I felt like I'd yet to come across in anybody else... and that kiss had been absolutely amazing...

"Kristin, is Taye here right now?"

She stared at me, wide-eyed. "N-no... but that doesn't mean—"

I took her face in my hands, looking her square in the eyes. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you didn't enjoy kissing me back just now. That you don't want this."

I could see the fear and worry in her eyes as she stared back at me nervously. She looked like she was about to cry – her lip was still quivering. "B-b-but this isn't _right_..."

My expression softened a bit as I ran my fingertips over her cheeks gently. "But it _feels _right... doesn't it?"

She looked me over as she squirmed nervously. "Idina, I... I don't know what is happening right now and I'm very scared and I don't know what to think of any of this," she blurted out all at once, starting to look a bit panicked.

Carefully, I leaned my forehead against hers. "Kristin... you're thinking too much," I told her gently, reaching up to brush her cheek with my hand. "Please, just... kiss me. We can talk about this later."

After staring at me for a moment, she finally gave in, and once again, our lips were pressed together. We kissed each other again and again, losing practically all sense of inhibition... until Kristin separated us once again. She stared at me with wide, fearful eyes; her mouth hanging open and her chest heaving up and down with each deep breath that she took.

"Dee, I—I—I, I have to go... uh, change..." she stammered, glancing down uneasily at her sparkly Glinda costume. "And you should probably get in the shower soon..." she pointed out, staring up at the green makeup plastered on my face and my pointy witch's hat.

I sighed reluctantly. "Okay. I'll see you later tonight?"

She bit her lip uncertainly, wringing her hands together behind her back. "Maybe."

Before she could leave I quickly leaned forward just to give her one last peck on the lips. I felt myself blush slightly at her surprised expression.

"Bye, Dee," she glanced at me nervously with the tiniest of awkward smiles before rushing out of my dressing room.

I stared at the closed door for a bit longer than I needed to before wandering over to the couch and plopping myself down for a moment, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

_Shit. _What had I done?

* * *

"Are you sleepy?"

"Only a little bit. My clit is super fucking sore, but that's besides the point..."

Kristin dissolved into giggles. "Hey, you're the one that wanted me to keep going..."

I chuckled to myself, placing a kiss on her jaw. "I know. And I don't regret that decision whatsoever."

She laughed again, curling up closer to me and resting her cheek against my shoulder. "Okay, I have a serious question."

"What is it, honey?" I asked her, absentmindedly running one of my fingers up and down her spine.

She paused for a moment. "When do you think we should start telling people about... us?"

I stared back at her for a moment before glancing up at the ceiling, then back down at her again. "I honestly don't know, baby. When do _you_ think we should?"

She scrunched up her nose at me. "I don't know, either. I'm scared, Dee. God only knows the awful things that people will say about us..."

I sighed, cuddling her closer to me and resting my cheek against her forehead. "I know, baby. I'm scared, too," I said quietly, never wanting to let her go. I was suddenly feeling very protective over her. Just thinking about her being hurt by other people's words made me so upset. I just wanted to shield her away from the world and keep her inside the little bubble of our relationship, where no one could hurt her... "We don't have to tell anyone right now, sweetie. I just got out of a marriage, you just got out of a relationship... we can just lay low for a little bit until things settle down. When the time feels right, we can start telling people."

She bit her lip. "I'm afraid that the time will never feel right, Dee... but I don't want to hide forever. I love you," she murmured, reaching out to place her hand on my cheek.

I placed my hand over hers, taking it in mine and kissing it gently. "I love you, too, sweetheart. It's not going to be easy, but we'll have each other. I don't care what anyone says – as long as we're together. That's all that matters."

Suddenly she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, embracing me fiercely. I hugged her back, wrapping my own arms around her torso and kissing her shoulder.

"You're wonderful, Dee. I love you so much," I felt her murmur into my neck.

"I love you, too," I pulled back so that I could look at her. "I'm so happy that we're together, Kris."

"Me, too," she smiled, giving me a soft kiss on the lips. "You ready for bed, sweetie?"

"I think so," I said, stifling a yawn as I pulled up the covers around us and making sure my arms were wrapped firmly around her. "Good night, Kris."

"Good night, baby."

* * *

**A/N: **Yay! Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I just would like to know one thing – did you guys like the flashback? If yes, should I continue it? I have an idea for another flashback to follow up, and I wouldn't mind writing this story alternating between flashbacks to change things up a bit. Would that be a good or bad idea? Please let me know! Reviews are lovely! Xo


	5. What Is This Feeling?

**A/N: **Hello everyone! Sorry for the long wait; I've been having some discrepancy with the chapters, but I figured I'll just make it up as I go. Sorry it's kinda short-ish. To avoid any possible confusion, this is a continuation of the flashback from the last chapter. And also to change things up I'm going to do more of Kristin's POV because for some reason I thought I couldn't do it, but I am now, so... Hope you like this chapter! Enjoy and reviews are beautiful. Thank you for your continued support! :)

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_Not yet, not yet, not yet... _Kristin told herself repeatedly as she let herself into her hotel room, tossing her purse aside and changing into pajamas for the night. It was becoming increasingly difficult for her to hold her emotions in, now that she was finally alone... She felt the lump still rising in her throat, making it even more difficult for her to breathe.

At last, she plunked herself down on the bed, putting her face in her hands as the tears finally poured out unrelentlessly. She wasn't even really sure why she was crying – all she knew was that she had felt like she was about to burst into tears as soon as she'd left Idina's dressing room earlier that evening and had made herself wait until she was back in the safety of her hotel room, just in case she found herself unable to stop.

That whole experience had just shaken her to her core. She felt so stupid – she should never have kissed her in the first place – but even still, she hadn't expected Idina to react like that, either! She was a married woman, why would she be even remotely interested in her? She had a handsome husband and they probably had a wonderful relationship...

_Oh my goodness, _she thought. _I made out with a married woman_.

Just this thought alone made her cry even harder. She felt like such a terrible person – just absolutely awful. And the worst part was that she'd enjoyed it. Kissing Idina had been... inexplicable. She couldn't even put it into words... but it was so wrong. She knew she could've said no to her – she would never have forced herself upon her – but she hadn't _wanted _to refuse her. That was what was scaring her the most. She was starting to... _feel _certain things for Idina, and she didn't like it one bit.

She couldn't be with her... and yet, she couldn't stop herself from admiring her. She was so _effortlessly _perfect. All of her life, Kristin had tried so hard to be as perfect as she could possibly be. Perfect hair, perfect makeup, clothes, nails... you name it. She had a certain sense of pride in being such a perfectionist. Then Idina came along... and she had absolutely blown her away. There was just something truly captivating about her that she couldn't exactly pinpoint. She had very distinct features and a tough exterior – but if you looked hard enough, there was a certain softness about her that just made her so wordlessly beautiful. She came off so poised and proper – but once you got to know her, you'd notice that she had a bit of a sailor's mouth and she could goof off and be silly sometimes, too – which Kristin admired. The way she held herself with such an elegant grace both on stage and even in rehearsals just made Kristin want to watch her perform all day. And of course, she sang like an angel... Kristin would often find herself daydreaming or zoning out completely just because she had been listening to her sing so intently at rehearsals. She had never met anyone like her before...

_Oh no_, she thought again. _Am I in love with her?!_

_No. No no no no _no. _I _can't_ be in love with her. This is ridiculous. Snap out of it, Kristin!_

Yet still, all she could do was turn onto her side and sob even harder into her pillow. She hated this, absolutely hated it. She didn't want to be in love with Idina! She didn't want to be a homewrecker... She and Taye had been together for years. She couldn't be the one to split them up.

Thunder boomed loudly outside, interrupting her thoughts and making her jump. Her tears stopped abruptly. In all of her madness she had almost forgotten about the torrential thunderstorm that was still happening...

Kristin _hated _thunderstorms. Mostly because she was still afraid of them... It seemed a bit silly for a grown woman to be afraid of such a thing, but she had grown up in Oklahoma – right smack in the middle of Tornado Alley. Since she was a little girl she'd always had the fear that with a thunderstorm, there would be a tornado to come along with it, uprooting trees and power lines and everything in its path, making the ground tremble and the windows clatter...

_Ugh_. She shuddered at the thought and lay on her back, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. _What a terrible night. Well, at least I stopped crying_, she thought, wiping under her eyes. Now she was feeling far too uneasy about the storm to keep crying over Idina. _Goodness, I'm pathetic... _

She wished she didn't have to endure it alone. She usually liked to have company over or she would call somebody to get her mind off of it so she wouldn't worry so much... but that night, she was going to have to stick it out alone. She didn't feel like talking to anyone at all, even for that reason.

_I wish Idina was here. She'd make everything better..._

_No! No you don't! For Pete's sake, get your mind off of her already, it's not going to help anyth—_

Kristin let out a little squeak as her phone suddenly buzzed, interrupting her internal banter. She sighed and nervously picked it up off of her night table... _Oh, fantastic. _It was a text from Idina.

_Hey Kris. I was thinking if you want, we could talk in my room for a bit, or yours... I know you don't like storms..._

She read the text in confusion. How the heck did she know about the storm thing?! She must've given herself away at some point...

She looked back over the rest of the text, biting her lip. She didn't know if she should accept her offer or not. It sure was tempting... No. No, it was probably a bad idea. As much as she wanted the company, she just needed some time to breathe...

_Thanks Dee, but I think I'm gonna go to bed. Not feeling very well_

About a minute later, her phone buzzed again.

_OK honey. If you change your mind, the offer still stands. Hope u feel better. Sweet dreams_

She stifled a smile at the text. _God, why does she do this to me?! _she exclaimed in her head, feeling emotionally exhausted. She was just about to get under the covers when an even louder clap of thunder sounded, eliciting a surprised yelp from her. Putting a hand over her heart to try and slow down the rapid thumping, she threw off the comforter, grabbed her phone and room key and put on her slippers before dashing out of her hotel room without looking back.

* * *

Idina was catching up on some reading when she heard a knock on her hotel room door. She put her book down and went up to answer it, wondering who it could be, seeing as that it was getting late and most of the cast was probably getting to bed...

To her pleasant surprise, she opened her door to find a somewhat distraught-looking Kristin Chenoweth standing before her. "Hey, Kris!" she greeted her with a smile and opened the door wider to let her in. She was worried that she might be upset about something, but she decided she would give her a chance if she needed to say something. She strode across the room and stood in front of the bed, crossing her arms over her chest and barely even glancing at Idina. "I thought you were going to bed..."

Kristin let out a little sigh, staring around at the floor. "I couldn't sleep..."

"Oh," she nodded once, leaning against the back of the door as her eyes wandered down...

It was then that Kristin realized that Idina was staring at what she was wearing – a champagne-coloured spaghetti-strapped satin camisole with matching shorts... She blushed furiously. _Shit! How did I forget to check what I was wearing?!_

She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Dee?"

Idina's head immediately snapped up, her cheeks flushing deeply as she giggled nervously. "Oh my gosh, sorry. I like your pajamas..."

To her dismay, she felt her face grow even hotter. Her heart felt like it was slamming itself against her lungs – she could barely breathe. She just couldn't handle Idina looking at her like that, like she was going to... ravish her right on the spot or something. "Sorry, I just... threw whatever on... I didn't even double check what I was wearing before I decided to show up here," she shook her head to herself before looking back at Idina. She was just wearing some old-looking cotton shorts and a baggy t-shirt, but she could honestly pull off anything. "I like yours, too."

Idina looked down at her own outfit with a small smile before looking back up and glancing over Kristin worriedly, who was now sitting on the bed and staring at a spot on the floor, her eyes looking glazed over. She walked over and sat next to her. "Hey... are you okay?" she reached out to touch her arm.

She shuddered at the unexpected contact. "I'm fine, Dee..." she murmured, avoiding her gaze – but Idina wasn't fooled. She turned her chin up towards her and let out a little gasp at how red and puffy her eyes were.

"Kris, have you been crying?" she demanded, a deep concern written all over her kind but intimidating features.

Kristin wiped underneath one of her eyes. "I-I've just been having a rough night..."

Idina's expression immediately hardened, and there was fear visible in her eyes. "Did I cause this?"

"N-no..." she stammered, but to her dismay, her voice cracked and she broke down crying.

Idina felt like her heart had just crumbled inside of her chest. "Kristin, sweetheart..." she murmured, wrapping her arms around the tiny blonde and lifting her up onto her lap. She almost felt like she was going to cry herself – she absolutely could not bear to see her upset. "Oh, honey; I didn't mean to upset you... Please talk to me, baby... We can work this out..."

Kristin squeezed her eyes shut, clutching the other woman desperately. Idina brushed her thumb across her cheek, moving away some of her stray tears. "You know that I care about you a lot... don't you?"

At this, Kristin's eyes welled up once again and she buried her face into Idina's shoulder in an attempt to stifle her cries. Idina's own eyes widened in shock. What was making her so upset?

"Kristin – Kristin, sweetheart..." she said quietly, turning her face back towards her. "Please tell me what's wrong, baby. I can't stand seeing you like this..."

She just shook her head, wiping underneath her eyes and sniffling. "It's not important..."

"Kris, honey," she said, looking her straight in the eyes. "If you're this upset over something, it matters to me. Is it because I kissed you? Please tell me..."

She shook her head again, feeling the tears coming rushing back already as she covered her face with her hands and buried her face into Idina's shoulder again. "You're married!"

Idina's expression instantly sobered with confusion. "What?"

All she could hear was Kristin stifling more sobs into her shoulder. "You're married... and I'm in love with you!"

She could only sit there in shock for a moment as Kristin continued to cry... She turned her head up towards her again, taking her face in her hands and trying to wipe some of her tears with her thumbs. "You're in love with me?" she asked her softly. She was surprised, but also deeply touched by her revelation...

"Isn't it obvious..." she muttered, avoiding her eyes once again and rubbing her eyes.

She smiled at her sympathetically, thinking for a moment. She had done one hell of a lot of thinking in the past few hours. "Well... I think now would be a good time to tell you that I'm in love with you, too."

Kristin's head snapped up, looking at her incredulously. "What?!"

Idina couldn't help but giggle at her reaction. "What? Is that surprising?"

Kristin didn't even know what to say. "Uh... yes?! You have a husband!"

"What does that have to do with me being in love with you?"

"A lot! How can you possibly be in love with me if you have him?"

Idina sighed, looking her over and tucking a strand of Kristin's blonde hair behind her ear. "When I'm with you, I don't even feel like I'm married... It's as if I totally forget about him."

She stared at her tentatively. "How do you feel when you _are _with him?"

Idina looked down at the bed. "I feel like I'm missing something..."

Kristin seemed to be at a loss for words – something that didn't happen very often. Her mouth hung open as she struggled to string together a response. Her heart seemed to be beating about a mile a minute. "Dee you can't... you... you can't possibly mean that..."

She looked back up at her, her expression serious as ever. "I do mean it."

"B-but... but... Dee..."

She smiled weakly, gently brushing a thumb over her cheek. "I love everything about you, Kris. You're my best friend; I don't know what I would do without you..."

Kristin raised her eyebrows at her. "Everything? What about when I pop all of my joints?"

She smiled. "It has a certain charm to it," she said, making them both giggle.

"Oh, Dee," Kristin smiled softly, reaching out to touch her face. "I love you. But I can't let you cheat on Taye. It's not right."

Idina was silent for a moment. "I'll leave him."

Kristin's mouth fell open in surprise. "What?! No. You can't leave him for me, Dee. You just can't."

"But I love you, Kris," she insisted with that cute little pouty face that Kristin adored so much. "I can't leave him right away, because of everything going on right now... but I promise that after the show, I will. I want to be with you."

She just blinked at her in surprise; her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. She couldn't believe that this was happening. She didn't even know what to say – all she could do was wrap her arms around Idina's torso and rest her head against her chest, revelling in the moment. "You're crazy. This is so unbelievably wrong."

Idina put her arms around her, stroking her back. "It's funny that you say that... 'cause whenever I'm with you... everything feels so right."

Slowly, Kristin looked up to meet her eyes – their faces were hardly inches away from each other's. She gulped nervously; her heart was going about a mile a minute now. She could feel Idina's eyes on her, soft and yet so powerfully unrelenting. She felt her cheeks growing hot as her gaze fell to her lips... _Oh goodness, what is happening..._

Before she could form another thought, Idina closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to hers ever so gently. Kristin felt like her stomach was about to jump out of her esophagus as she eased into the kiss, wrapping her arms around her neck and letting herself go. She couldn't get over how amazing this felt. Nothing that she had _ever _experienced in her life had come anywhere close to this – this connection that they shared. She wasn't sure exactly what it was about Idina, but whenever the two of them were together, everything just became absolutely surreal...

After a minute or so, they pulled away from each other slowly, both smiling.

"I love you," Idina murmured, staring deeply into her eyes and brushing her thumbs against her cheeks.

"I love you," Kristin whispered back, almost breathlessly. She was so overwhelmed that she felt like she might pass out.

"I want to make this work, Kris," Idina said quietly, taking her hands in hers and carefully leaning their foreheads together.

"Me too," she replied softly.

"Are you feeling any better, sweetie?" she asked her with a concerned expression on her face as she rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

Kristin nodded, leaning into her arms and resting her head against her shoulder. "Much better now that I'm with you."

Idina smiled softly, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm glad, honey. Are you tired? Do you want to sleep here?"

"Yes, please," she immediately answered. "I don't think I could handle sleeping in my room alone. This storm is freaking me out."

"Well, you're more than welcome to stay here with me, baby," she smiled at her, kissing her on the cheek.

The two of them got settled into Idina's hotel room bed, and curled up close to each other under the covers.

"Good night, Dee. Thanks again for letting me sleep here."

"Of course, baby," she said, quickly giving her a peck on the lips. "No need to thank me; I'm here for you no matter what. I love you."

Kristin didn't have to force the smile that met her eyes – Idina's words warmed her heart. "I love you, too."

Although Kristin seemed to fall asleep in a matter of minutes, Idina just couldn't get herself to doze off. Though she felt extremely creepy, she spent some time watching Kristin sleep. She was so peaceful, and though she had about a billion thoughts buzzing around in her head, watching her was somehow calming to her.

She couldn't get over how much she loved her. It all seemed so crazy to her, everything seemed to be happening so quickly... but she had realized that she had loved Kristin this entire time – she just hadn't realized it until then. The kiss had changed everything. It had taken everything in her not to scoop Kristin up in her arms and kiss her again back when they had been up on stage. She didn't know why she was so drawn to her – but then she thought, why not? She was so lovely, talented, sweet, adorable... and she never failed to make her laugh. Come to think of it, there was nothing she didn't love about Kristin. She was her best friend. They were practically inseparable.

She'd never felt this way about Taye. Well... maybe she'd _thought _she had, but it wasn't like what she and Kristin had. _Nothing _was like what they had. They had such a unique and powerful connection. When they were together, everything just felt... right. Nothing else even seemed to matter.

Despite how much she loved Kristin, the prospect of leaving Taye was still a lot for her to fathom. Thinking about it was just making her nervous. She _did _want to leave him, but it was just a bit unnerving – probably because they'd been together for so long. It was definitely a big decision – especially since she would be ending her marriage... The thought was unsettling. But she wanted to make Kristin happy, and she wanted them to be happy together without any complications. She just wished that everything would fall into place on its own without anybody getting hurt – but to her dismay, she knew that that was a highly unlikely event. No matter what decision she made, somebody was going to be hurt by it.

She honestly had no idea what she was going to do – but at least she had some time to dwell on it. Maybe by then things would be a bit clearer to her.


	6. This Time Is Different

**A/N: **Hello! Sorry for the super long wait – I was really displeased with this chapter for a while and it took me quite a few tries to get it right. Well, as right as it can possibly get. This is a pretty lengthy chapter, too – so hopefully that will kind of make up for waiting. I would also like to just mention that this story is going to be slightly AU due to the fact that Kristin won't be going back to Broadway in 2015, simply because of some plot developments that I have in mind. It's not relevant right now in the story, but it will come up soon - so it's just a heads up. Thanks to all who have followed and reviewed; it really means a lot! Thanks for reading! Enjoy!

* * *

There really weren't words I could use to describe how much I loved waking up in Idina's arms. I often found myself surprised at the realization that any of this was actually happening. It was easy to forget that this was different. I'd have that awful anxiety churning in the pits of my stomach, because I knew that it would all come to an end soon, one way or another. She would put an abrupt end to our makeout sessions because it was getting late and she had to go home. Or in the mornings she'd rush out before we could have breakfast together. Sometimes I'd wake up to an empty bed.

But none of those things happened this time. Nothing stopped. I would expect something awful to happen that would ruin everything, but nothing ever did. This time _was_ different. This was Idina's apartment, not mine. There was no husband that she had to go home to anymore. Nothing _had _to be put to an end. We could just be, and we didn't have to worry about what anyone else would think – well, not for the moment, anyway. For once, we were free to be together.

I studied her as she continued to sleep peacefully. She was just so beautiful, I could hardly stand it. The awful thing was that she didn't even believe it. Well, maybe she did sometimes... but most of the time she definitely didn't act like she did.

I wished that she could see herself through my eyes. I wanted her to know just how beautiful she was. I wanted her to know how much I truly loved her, and how important she was to me. She was my everything; my whole world... She always had been, and I knew she always would be.

I wasn't sure if I should wake her up or not. I thought that she would probably want me to, because of Walker and everything, and we weren't dressed...

I settled with slowly planting small kisses up her neck. After a moment, I felt her stir, and I shimmied myself up so that my face was more level with hers. Her eyes drooped open lazily, looking straight into mine as she smiled at me sleepily.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty," I grinned at her before pressing my lips to hers gently.

She chuckled a bit, looking at me skeptically. "How are you even up before me?"

"Well," I smirked, "I think someone was a little tired from last night..."

"Oh, right..." she grinned cheekily, closing her eyes again and nuzzling her head into the crook of my neck. "Well, it was definitely worth it."

"Good," I said with a smile. I gazed down at her, kissing her gently on the temple and feeling myself getting all sentimental. I just loved moments like this. We said nothing for a minute, but it wasn't awkward. It was just... peaceful.

"You know that I love you, right?" I said quietly after a few more moments of silent admiration.

I felt her tense up a bit as her eyes flickered open and she stared at me tentatively. Her expression was one of confusion mixed with another look that I couldn't really place. "Erm... Kris...?"

"Dee... I'm serious."

Her gaze flickered from mine. "Well, I-I... I do know, I just... I haven't really stopped to think about it."

I paused for a moment. "Dee... I want you to know that... you mean the world to me; you really do. And you are so important to so many. I need you to know that you _are_ beautiful. Like _extremely _beautiful. You mean everything to me, sweetheart; and I love you so, so much."

She just looked at me in unblinking awe before she put her face in her hands and leaned her head against my shoulder. Her own shoulders started shaking and I knew with a sinking feeling that she was crying.

"Oh, honey; please don't cry..." I murmured, wrapping my arms tightly around her and clutching her close to me, now hearing the awful muffled sounds of her crying. I just couldn't handle it.

She let out a little gasp through her tears, turning her face in towards me. I could feel her tear-streaked cheeks against the skin of my neck. "Kris... how are you so good to me... Oh, I don't deserve you..."

"Dee, you know that's bullshit," I couldn't stop myself from blurting out. I didn't swear often, but this was one of those times. "I love you more than anything, and you deserve the absolute best. You are an amazing, sweet, talented, loving, hard-working, compassionate woman and don't think for a second that you aren't. I love you, Idina; I do. I will tell you a billion and one times, if that's what it takes."

All she did was continue to cry as she wrapped her arms even tighter around me. I hugged her back tightly, kissing her cheek. "It breaks my heart to see you this upset over a compliment."

She laughed shakily, leaning back slightly and wiping her cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm just... overwhelmed," she mumbled, starting to regain her composure and giggling again. "I love you so much, Kristin. You mean the whole world to me, too."

I smiled at her, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It makes me really happy to hear that from you, sweetie."

Suddenly she leaned forward and kissed me repeatedly. "I love you so much. So so so so sooooooooo much," she mumbled against my lips.

I giggled. "You are so silly."

"Says you."

"Okay, point taken," I said, laughing again.

She sighed. "I guess we should get up soon."

"I guess."

"I don't want to."

"Me, either. But I want to see Walker, though."

She smiled at me sweetly. "Okay. I'm going to take a quick shower," she said, getting up and putting her robe on.

"Can I come?" I couldn't resist asking, stifling a laugh.

"It wouldn't be quick if you did," she said, grinning, before she bent down and kissed me. "Next time, I promise."

"Okay," I grinned back, scrunching up my nose. "I'll miss you."

She giggled. "I won't be long, baby," she promised me, blowing me a kiss and heading into the bathroom.

I just lay there with a smile permanently plastered on my face. I couldn't help but think about how we were kind of disgustingly cute with each other. It was so bad that it was potentially nauseating... but I didn't really care that much, because I enjoyed it – and that's all that mattered to me.

* * *

I didn't have to force the huge smile that appeared on my face as Walker bounded into Idina's bedroom about twenty minutes later.

"Kristin!" he exclaimed with what appeared to be delight as he climbed up onto the bed and tackled me with one fierce toddler hug. It made me so inexplicably happy that he was this thrilled to see me. I'd been afraid that I wouldn't leave a lasting impression on him – I had hardly expected him to even remember my name, never mind greeting me eagerly with a hug.

"Hi honey," I said brightly, despite the early hour. "Did you sleep well?"

"Mhm," he nodded enthusiastically. "Mommy said that now you're going to be my other mommy."

I glanced up at Idina, who stood a few paces away, watching and smiling. "If you want me to, I would love to be your other mommy, sweetie."

He seemed to ponder this for a moment. "Well, you love my mommy, right?"

Once again, I didn't have to force my smile. I looked back up at Idina, who was grinning broadly from ear-to-ear... and were those tears in her eyes?

My gaze fell back to Walker. "I do. I love her very much," I said as she walked over and sat beside us, slipping an arm around my waist and kissing me on the cheek.

"Eeeeeeeeewwww," Walker scrunched up his nose adorably at Idina kissing me. "Well, if you love my mommy then you can be my other mommy."

I felt like my heart had just melted as I smiled at him warmly. "Thank you, Walker; I'm honoured."

Idina was beaming at her little boy. "Come here, baby," she murmured, reaching out her arms and pulling him in between our laps, and we both covered him with kisses on his cheeks.

"Stop! Stop..." he giggled as we slowly leaned back. He seemed to ponder something for a moment.

"Mommy, if I call you mommy, what do I call Kristin?"

Idina and I looked at each other, and I felt the smile on my lips broaden even more.

"Whatever you want, sweetie – as long as it's a nice name," I said with a bit of a smirk, ruffling his hair playfully.

He thought for a moment again. The kid was awfully pensive for his age. "Hmm... I'll still call mommy 'mommy' and I'll call you 'mama'."

I beamed down at his little face. That was just so perfect. "That is a-okay with me, sweet pea."

He giggled as Idina suddenly engulfed both of us in a big group hug – it was then that I noticed that she'd had her eyes trained on me. "I love you both so much," she murmured as our gazes met and we both reached for the other's hand. I wanted to kiss her so badly.

"I love you both, too," I said, wrapping my arms around her and Walker.

Walker suddenly struggled out from between us. "Can I watch Spongebob now?"

I reached over to Idina's night table and grabbed the converter to turn on the TV for him – unsurprisingly, it was already on the cartoon channel. "There you go, honey."

"Thank you, mama," he uttered to me quickly before settling himself at the foot of the bed.

My cheeks almost hurt from smiling so much. I couldn't believe that he had actually been so accepting of the new change and so quick to adapt to it. For once in my life, I actually felt important – not that I _wasn't _important – but I had never really felt I mattered this much to anyone before. If I had, it had only been for a little while. Everyone always told me the same stuff, but nobody ever stuck around. I couldn't even be certain that Idina would – but I knew that what we had was real. I also knew that if she wasn't taking us seriously, she wouldn't have involved Walker. I didn't think she would lie to me, either – not after all we'd been through...

My inner ramblings had only lasted a few seconds, and I then noticed that Dee was still keeping her eyes on me – she looked like she was about to cry, but she also had that... all-too familiar _look _in her eyes. I couldn't help but return the tiniest of cheeky grins.

"Come here," she beckoned to me in a quiet voice now that Walker was preoccupied, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me deeply. She leaned back so that she could look at me, gently rubbing my arm. Her eyes were deep pools of green – I felt like I could just stare into them all day...

"Are you happy?" she whispered to me, snapping me out of my daydream.

"Happy?!" I asked her a bit incredulously. "Dee, I'm... this is just wonderful," I said, shaking my head in disbelief. "I never thought he would take a liking to me so quickly."

She shot me a slightly skeptical look. "Why wouldn't he, honey? What's there not to love about you?"

I couldn't stop myself from blushing – I just didn't know how to take compliments. "Oh, stop... you flatter me far too much."

"There's no such thing as flattering you too much," she smirked, leaning forward to peck me on the lips, making me blush even more deeply before turning her attention to Walker for a moment.

"Walker – what do you want to eat, honey?" she asked him, but elicited no reply – he was too engrossed by his cartoons by then to even register her talking to him. She sighed and shook her head, starting to climb off of the mattress.

"I guess I'd better go start on the food," she said, but I stopped her by placing my hand over hers.

"Dee, why don't we go out to eat today? It's on me," I offered.

The expression on her face was just a little bit startled. "No no, Kris; you don't have to do that... I don't mind, I promise."

I shimmied further up the bed, getting on my knees in front of her in an attempt to be slightly more level to her eyes – which didn't really happen, anyway – and slid my hands down her arms, gripping her hands loosely in mine.

"Sweetheart, I know you don't mind, but it's your day off – you deserve at _least _this. Come on; let me do something nice for you."

Her cheeks turned a modest pink. "Well... at least let me pay for Walker."

I shook my head. "No way, José. We're together now, and you said this can be my family, too. I have to pull my weight in this relationship _some_how."

"Oh honey, you already _do_..." she looked down shyly, her gaze flickering back and forth from mine.

I smiled. "Don't worry about this, baby. Please. I want you to relax today, and nothing more than that."

She looked like she couldn't really say anything – instead, she just engulfed me into her embrace once again, squeezing me tightly with her head nestled into the crook of my neck.

"I love you so much," I heard her mumble into my skin, and before I could even think anything else, her lips crashed down onto mine.

I burst into giggles as she came up for air. "I love you too, sweetheart."

She pulled back to give me a _very _serious look. "But next time is on me, okay?"

I smirked at her. "We'll see."

* * *

After one long but fun day, Idina and I flopped down on her bed after Walker had fallen asleep. After breakfast, we took him to the park, of course – and after that we had done some shopping, just for the heck of it. We hadn't run into _too _many fans... There were some paparazzi as well, but we decided that we wouldn't worry about it too much. Dee seemed to be more concerned about them getting photos of Walker than anything else, anyway. We just told anyone who asked that we were spending some much-prolonged quality-time together. I knew it would be all over the web in no time, and our fans would surely be tweeting up a storm about it... but no one really seemed to suspect anything. I guess we seemed innocent enough... though I couldn't help but wonder if anyone actually _did _suspect that there was something going on between us. It seemed a bit obscure to me – somehow I doubted that people would be making those kinds of assumptions about us, especially since Dee had just split up with Taye, and I had just ended my own relationship – without even publicly announcing it, I should add.

I couldn't help but feel like I was jumping the gun a bit with our relationship, especially since things were moving so quickly... but I had loved Idina for a long time. I knew that she would always be special to me, no matter what happened between us – and besides, she seemed to really want this, too. I couldn't be happier that we were together – no pun intended – and that we sort of had our own little family with Walker. I usually wasn't one to rush into things, but something just made me feel certain that I was making the right decisions. I loved Dee more than anything, and that was all that mattered to me. I didn't care about what people would think or say about us, or about social norms or what's deemed 'right' and 'wrong' in this twisted society... Okay, maybe I cared a _little _bit... I didn't want people to hate me... but that wasn't really of utmost importance to me. Dee was important to me, and Walker – Walker, who I was starting to love as if he was a child of my own...

"Walker loves you," Dee suddenly said to me, snapping me out of my thoughts. She was resting on her elbow while I lay on my back. She leaned forward slightly, slipping her arm across my torso. She had this wonderful, affectionate look on her face... She was gazing at me so lovingly that I felt like her eyes were boring into mine – and her smile just made me feel weak in the knees. I was suddenly very thankful that I was lying down as opposed to standing.

I smiled back at her dreamily. "As I love him. He's wonderful, Dee; he really is."

Her own smile grew even wider. "I just love seeing you two together. And you're getting along so well... Well, I didn't doubt that you would, but... I didn't expect him to warm up to you so quickly. He's normally pretty shy."

I cuddled up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Dee, I can't even tell you enough how much this means to me – how much you mean to me, and Walker, too... I think this is what I've really wanted all along, and now it feels real. For once, I feel like I'm doing something right..."

"You don't know how happy I am to be with you, Kris," she said, slipping her other hand softly against my jaw line. "I love _really _being with you. I'm tired of making mistakes. I know now that we're meant to be together... I never want things to change between us."

"Me, either," I hardly managed to whisper. She was so close to me that I could barely even breathe. I couldn't help but think that I should've been used to it by then, but I wasn't... Somehow I didn't think I ever would be.

At last, Idina closed the space between us, and once again I revelled in the feeling of her lips against mine. She kissed me slowly at first, then again, and again...

She leaned back slightly, leaning her forehead against mine, smiling at me, and... yep. She still had that goofy look on her face.

I shook my head at her in disbelief. "Why do you do this to me?"

Her silly smile met her eyes, and she looked a bit confused. "What?"

I sighed. "Every time you kiss me, I never want you to stop... I think you could kiss me all day, and I wouldn't even mind. For some reason that just makes me feel really pathetic."

She giggled, and I saw her cheeks flush pink. "Oh, babe – you're not pathetic! The same thing goes for me too, honey."

"Oh. Well I guess that makes me feel a bit better," I said stoically.

She giggled again (my goodness, I loved the sound of it). "I only _wish _we could fuck around with each other all day," she smiled, kissing me again.

"Mmm... that would be good," I mumbled against her lips.

"Oh!" she suddenly jumped up. "That reminds me."

"Huh?" I sat up, looking at her in confusion. What could that have possibly reminded her of?

More giggling. And she said _I_ was the goof in our relationship. Right. "Walker is going to stay with Taye next week, and he'll be there for two weeks."

I nodded. "Alright. Is that the usual set up?"

She nodded back, a peculiar look on her face. "Yeah. Do you know what that means, though?"

I thought for a moment, frowning. "We won't get to be with Walker?"

She shook her head. "No, but... That means we get some..." she inched closer to me, and I felt my breathing hitch. "... time to our_selves_..."

Oh.

_Oh. _

"Ohhhh... Well in that case... I guess we'll live," I smirked.

She smirked back at me. "Well of course we'll miss him, but... some alone time is definitely in order."

"I agree," I smiled a bit hazily, leaning back in to accept her kisses once again – but only a moment later, she pulled away abruptly, leaving me feeling a bit put-off.

"Hey..." I pouted. "What gi—"

"What did you buy at Victoria's Secret today?"

My frown instantly turned up into a smile. "Really, Dee? You interrupted our kiss to ask me that?"

She crossed her arms, looking like she was about to get all defensive – but at the same time, I could tell she was stifling a smile. "Don't avoid the question."

"Why do you want to know?"

She already looked frustrated. "Because... because it's not fair that you went in without me because I couldn't bring Walker in there. And I want to know."

"Dee, I probably would've went in by myself, anyway."

Now she looked offended, pouting at me. "Why?!"

I grinned. "_Because_. Don't you like surprises, sweet pea?"

She was now turning redder than a tomato, putting her face in her hands and giggling. "Kris, can you please just _tell me_..." she begged.

I raised my eyebrow at her curiously. "You want to know if I bought _you _anything, don't you?"

She just grinned at me innocently – or not so innocently... I couldn't really tell. "Maybe."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Be patient. You'll find out soon."

"But _Kris_..." she whined.

I refused to budge. "Good things come to those who wait, darling."

She huffed a sigh, leaning back against the pillows and crossing her arms against her chest and pouting. And people said _I _was a diva.

I couldn't help but smile at her silliness as I bent down to kiss her shoulder, then her collarbone, then her neck and jaw line...

"Don't frown, honey; you'll get wrinkles," I said, kissing the corners of her mouth, finally seeing her smile again as she giggled. "That's better."

We just smiled at each other as our lips met once again, and we seemed to lose each other in our kisses. Somehow I ended up straddling her lap as I held her face in my hands, our tongues playing with each other's. I never wanted this to stop.

Suddenly I found myself lying back against the bed – now Idina was sitting on top of me. She leaned down to continue kissing me, and I felt her hand slip under my shirt, making me shiver as she ran her fingers across my bare torso, right before she decided to pull the article of clothing off of me altogether. She kissed my collarbone as I started unbuttoning her blouse.

I guess we were having spontaneous sex – and I was perfectly fine with that.

I finally managed to get her blouse off of her, tossing it aside right before I unbuttoned her jeans and helped her wriggle out of them. She then moved to my own jeans, unzipping them and then pulling them right off of me.

We gazed at each other for just a moment before Idina lay on top of me, kissing me more fiercely and more passionately than ever before, leaving me almost breathless by the time she pulled away. I loved the feeling of her being so close to me, and my skin felt like it was on fire... it was all nearly too much to handle...

"Idina..." I murmured as she started kissing my neck – and I mean _really _kissing me... She would kiss me in one spot, and then suck and gently bite down before pulling away. I could hardly stand it; I felt almost weak with anticipation. I couldn't even recall how many times she repeated the action – I seemed to have lost track...

She moved back to my collarbone as she reached behind me and unhooked my bra, pulling it off and probably chucking it somewhere on the floor – but I wasn't really paying attention to that.

My eyes fluttered closed as she cupped her hand over one of my breasts, gently running her thumb over my nipple, and doing the same to the other. I hummed in satisfaction as I felt her mouth close over it this time, gently sucking. I leaned my head back and let a moan escape my mouth as I felt her tongue trace circles around my nipple – then her mouth over it, sucking again – and then she bit down ever so gently, and I thought I might lose it.

"Oh my goodness, Idina," I breathed, opening my eyes – seeing what she was doing didn't help whatsoever. "Are you trying to drive me insane?"

She smirked at me mischievously. "I'm just getting you back for last night, baby."

"Oh, great..." I mumbled as I felt her tongue circling my other breast, then sucking and biting, and I felt the sensations happen all over again...

I wrapped my legs around her waist as she came back up to gaze at me lovingly.

"I love you, Kris," she murmured before leaning back down to kiss me.

"I love you," I whispered against her lips. I reached behind her to unhook her bra, making her giggle as I tossed it elsewhere.

She pulled away and smiled at me before she went to place kisses down my neck, my collarbone, between my breasts, and all over my torso... My breathing hitched as she stopped at my underwear.

I propped myself up on my elbows, trying to see what the heck she was doing so that I could prepare myself for it, at least a little bit. I was certainly ready for her, though; if you know what I mean...

All she did was give me a very sly look as she ran her hands up my legs and thighs and sliding them around my butt, placing a line of kisses right above the hem of my underwear, making me want to collapse back down on the bed in defeat.

"Dee, you must enjoy torturing me," I panted. All I could feel was an escalating throbbing between my legs.

She grinned in self-satisfaction. "Alright, alright..." she said, running her fingers along the bottom of my panties – which didn't make it any better, mind you...

"Someone's a little bit... wet..." she smirked, finally sliding the cursed undergarment off of me.

I sighed gruffly in exasperation and a little bit in embarrassment. "Oh, shut it, will you?" I was feeling even more vulnerable and exposed now that I was completely naked.

She started cackling maniacally. "You get so cranky when you're sexually frustrated."

"And you get all whiny."

She laughed again. "What a pair we make..." she murmured before kissing the inside of my thighs, and I could barely stand it. I needed her inside me – immediately...

I felt her spread my legs apart just slightly, and I got my wish without warning – all of the sudden, she slipped her arms around my thighs and before I could even form another thought, I felt her lick right inside my entrance, causing me to sigh in both relief and even greater anticipation. I threw my head back with a moan as I felt her reach deeper, her tongue moving all around inside of me.

"Oh, Dee..." I moaned even more loudly as she started flicking my clit with her tongue and I laced my fingers through her hair. She switched between slow, steady pulses – teasing me – and going in deep and all around until I couldn't take it anymore and just completely lost it.

She came back up and lay beside me, kissing my shoulder as I caught my breath. She only gave me a minute to recover before I felt her fingers inside of me this time, curling deep down and then teasing my clit. I moaned helplessly as she started to really finger me, reaching my G-spot with steady, quickening pulses.

I arched my back, squeezing my eyes as she went deeper, and my breathing became heavier. "Mm... Dee..." I panted, grinding my hips against her and still, she went faster. She kissed me and I couldn't help but moan into her mouth, gripping her tightly until I finally came again.

I just lay there for a minute, panting and waiting for my brain to start refunctioning properly. Idina came back up and made herself comfortable on top of me again... I think she was smiling, but I couldn't really see anything very clearly yet...

"You okay, sweetheart?" I heard her murmur as she kissed my jaw.

"I'm just... recovering..." I said a bit helplessly as her gorgeous smiling face came into clearer focus. I smiled back at her and accepted a kiss, sighing happily into it.

"Kris?"

"Mm?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you taste amazing?"

I burst out laughing, and found myself struggling to stop. "Dee, that's disgusting!"

She giggled. "What? It's true..."

I shook my head. "Gross. Although I'm pretty sure you've told me that before, I think years ago..."

She grinned. "Probably. But you enjoyed it, though."

I smirked. "Well, I'm not going to deny that..."

She smiled at me, her expression softening as she gazed into my eyes. "I love you so much, Kris. I really do."

My heart pounded unrelentlessly in response, and I felt butterflies in my stomach... This all seemed just too good to be true. "I love you, too, Dee. More than anything in the world."

She studied me for a moment, seeming to be deep in thought. "Thank you for all that you do for me, baby. You always make me feel so special."

I beamed from ear to ear – there was nothing I wanted more than to see Idina happy. "Thank you for being you. And for loving me. I don't know what I'd do without you, sweetheart."

She smiled modestly, closing her eyes and kissing my cheek. "I can't help loving you, Kris... but I'm glad that I do."

I brushed one of her stray hairs aside, admiring her beautiful features. "And I'm thankful for that."

She rested her head against my shoulder, and I turned mine so that I could look at her. "Will you stay tonight?" she asked gently, running a hand up and down the side of my torso.

"If you want me to, honey."

"Of course I do!"

I smiled at her happily. "Well, then I'd love to."

"Yay," she grinned, giving me a kiss, then pulling back to study my face for a minute. "I'm going to miss you so much when you have to go away."

I frowned. "I know, baby; me, too. But at least then we'll have some space from each other, and you won't get tired of me."

She looked like I'd just morally offended her. "Kris! What a ridiculous thing to say! I could never get tired of you... Sure, we argue sometimes – but if we didn't, it'd be boring. And then there are those times where either or both of us can be tired, upset, or stressed, and maybe we won't feel like talking to each other. But I will _always_ want to have you here beside me, no matter how awful I'm feeling, because I love you and everything feels right when we're together. There won't ever be a time where I'll want to be away from you. You know that."

Tears stung at my eyes as a tidal wave of memories instantly crashed through my mind. Dee was right. I could remember times, years ago, where I'd be so upset and frustrated with her that I'd cry, alone in my apartment... and even though I'd be upset with her, I would still want her to be there with me... because I knew that she couldn't bear seeing me crying, and I knew that whatever fight we were having was probably stupid or unimportant - and if she'd actually hurt me, she'd apologize. All of that was so long ago, but it still was true to this day – even if we hadn't managed to work things out between us the first time...

I sighed. "I know, Dee; you're right. I'm sorry."

She kissed my forehead. "It's okay, sweetie; you don't have to apologize... Just please don't ever think things like that, okay? You know that I love you."

I smiled. "I know. Let me rephrase it... At least if we're away from each other, it'll be even better when we're back together."

"That's better," she smiled back at me. "Anyway, I don't really want to think about being away from you until I have to. Are you ready for bed?"

I let out a big yawn. "I think so."

The two of us crawled under the covers and Idina shut off her beside lamp. I cuddled up next to her as she wrapped her arms around me.

"Good night, honey. I love you."

"I love you too, Dee. Good night."

And so, it was just another perfect day spent with the love of my life - and I couldn't have been happier. No pun intended, I swear.

* * *

**A/N: **Okay so, sorry that these chapters seem to be really repetitive in terms of sequence of events - I promise that next chapter I am going to change things up, because I'm already getting bored of it. Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter! Reviews are great, and thanks for reading!


	7. A Very Awkward Reunion

**A/N: **Hi everyone! I'm sorry for the insanely long wait, please blame school, work, rehearsals, and of course my procrastination. Also sorry that this chapter is kinda mediocre, I promise that some more interesting things will be happening soon, and please keep in mind that I am just getting started with this story. Lots is going to happen so be excited! I'll try not to make it so mediocre. Anyway, enjoy! Thanks for your support and reviews are lovely as always. :')

* * *

The rest of the week seemed to fly by – it was to be expected, what with both of our busy schedules plus Walker in the mix. On Sunday I spent most of the day with him while Dee was at her matinee – it was nearly seven by the time she arrived home that evening.

"Mommy!" Walker screeched as he ran to the door as she was letting herself in. She smiled, crouching down to embrace him – I knew that she was happy to see him, but I could also see that she was tired...

"Hi, sweetie," she greeted him, placing a kiss on his cheek before her eyes wandered over in my direction. She got up and walked over to me.

"Hi, baby," she murmured, wrapping her arms around me and kissing me gently, despite Walker's gagging noises in the background. I couldn't even tell you how good it felt to be in the comfort of her embrace again. I never truly realized that I really missed her until she returned to me – it was like I didn't notice that I was tense when she was gone, but now that she was back I felt so much more relaxed. I could also practically feel all of her own tension that she was holding onto. I knew she truly did love what she was doing, but I just wished that there was some way to help her avoid getting all worked up over everything all the time... It made me want to just hug her and kiss her until she felt like the most relaxed person in the world – but then again, that wouldn't be like Dee at all. She was always on edge for some reason or another...

We broke away and turned to look at Walker, whose gagging noises had intensified over the course of hardly a few seconds. Dee shot him a death glare and he instantly burst into mischievous giggles.

"Has this one been good for you today?" she asked me, placing a hand on the small of my back and eyeing Walker suspiciously.

I grinned knowingly at her son. "You know, Dee – he has actually been great; I really think you'll be impressed. We went to the park, and he helped me do the laundry, and we watched a movie... aaand... we made dinner, too," I smiled even more broadly as her mouth flopped open in surprise.

"What?! No way. You're joking!"

I just shook my head, unable to stop grinning.

"Kris!" she hit my arm playfully. "You guys didn't have to do that."

I put my hands on my hips, looking at her like she was insane. "And you think I was gonna expect _you_ to do it after you've been working, just so I could sit at home and do nothing all day?"

She just bit her lip timidly, stifling a smile. I knew I'd gotten her this time.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," I laughed as she leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Well, thank you, guys," she said as she bent down to bombard Walker with kisses.

"Stoppp, mommy!" he giggled, making an attempt to push her away with his tiny hands.

She stood up, chuckling at him before she turned to face me again. "What did you guys make, anyway?"

"Oh, nothing special," I shrugged. "Just chicken and rice and veggies."

She smirked. "It's probably better than anything I can make."

"Oh, stop it," I smiled, nudging her side with my hip. "You know that's not true."

"Really? I beg to differ," she grinned, nudging me back. "Walker, go wash your hands please before we eat," she instructed him, and he ran off as we went into the kitchen.

"How was the show?" I asked her, leaning against the counter.

"Oh, fine... just the same old, same old," she said with a weak smile, shrugging her shoulders and sliding into a chair at the table.

I smiled back tentatively, a bit concerned. "You seem really tired, sweetie."

She sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know; I guess it's all just... getting to me..."

I frowned, walking over to her and wrapping my arms around her shoulders from behind, leaning my cheek against hers. "I wish you had more time to relax, honey."

"I feel relaxed whenever I'm with you," she told me quietly, placing a hand comfortingly on my arm, closing her eyes and nuzzling her face against mine by tilting it more towards me.

"Good," I murmured, placing a kiss on her cheek, then her nose, then lastly on her lips, where I lingered for a bit longer. She kissed me back softly, carefully resting her hand on my jaw line.

We broke away after a moment, meeting each other's gaze and smiling a bit timidly, but happily. Keeping my arms around her, I took the opportunity to swing onto her lap, curling my head up in the crook of her neck as she wrapped her arms around me, running her hand up and down my back gently.

"Seriously, thank you for doing all of that for me today, Kris – and for watching Walker, too. It really means a lot to me to have you helping out," she said quietly, turning her head so that she could look at me.

The corners of my mouth turned up in a small smile. "Of course, Dee," I replied, absentmindedly tracing the contours of her face with my finger. "You don't need to thank me – I _want _to do this for you. I don't even know how you managed everything on your own before..."

She let out the tiniest of sighs. "It definitely is a lot easier with you here, honey."

"I love helping you out, sweetie. And I really love spending time with Walker, too."

She smiled this time. "We really are a family now, aren't we?"

I nodded once, a massive grin overtaking my features. "That's right; we are."

She closed the distance between us, kissing me once and pulling back to gaze at me intently; our faces hardly inches apart. "I love you."

"I love you," I murmured, leaning in to kiss her again. Her arms tightened around me as she kissed me back. We seemed to get completely lost in the moment, until –

"EEEEWWWWW!" Walker shrieked as he ran into the kitchen. Idina and I pulled away from each other abruptly, both of us immediately turning our heads in the direction of the ear-piercing outburst.

"Walker—" Idina warned in her no-nonsense tone.

"Why are you always _kissing_?! It's _disgusting_!" he complained loudly, banging on my knees with his tiny fists.

Idina's jaw was now tightly set. I quickly hopped off of her lap and knelt down to Walker's level before she had the chance to flip her lid.

"Walker, honey – please don't be rude. Mommy's had a long day and she's very tired, so I need you to please use your inside voice, okay? No more screaming or yelling for tonight... got it?"

"Okay," he nodded, wringing his hands together.

I smiled at him reassuringly, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, sweetie. Now go say sorry, please."

"I'm sorry, mommy!" Walker apologized, hugging her knees.

A smile crept up on her face – it was practically impossible to stay mad at him for long. "It's okay, baby," she said, pulling him up onto her lap and kissing his cheek. He leaned back against her chest and picked up one of her hands, playing with it. Idina mouthed a 'thank you' in my direction. I made a kissy face at her and went to get some plates for dinner.

You know, I was feeling pretty damn pleased with myself at that point. I was still working and doing all the things that I loved, but I was getting to be a mom – something that I'd secretly always really, really wanted – and to be with the love of my life, too. I'd always been afraid that I'd never find the one person who would mean the world to me... that was part of the reason why I thought I'd never have a family – but now I had it all. It was as if all of the sudden, my life had just become perfect... well, as perfect as life can possibly get. It made any hardship that I'd ever been through in my life seem so much more worthwhile.

A thought that often randomly popped into my mind was that before Idina, I never would have thought that I'd end up with a woman. It wasn't that I was completely opposed to the idea, I'd just _never _thought of it before. I'd liked men for as long as I could remember, and even just the passing thought of me liking women back then just seemed so strange – because for me, it was. That kind of idealism wasn't exactly encouraged where I grew up – so why would I question anything if I didn't feel the need to?

I never _did _feel the need to... until I met Idina, that is.

It wasn't that I fell in love with her right away. Even if I actually had, I never would have let myself believe such a thing – but whether I knew it or not, I had definitely been attracted to her right from the start. There was just some kind of... tension. It was as if we had an electrical charge between us. Everyone always commented that we had amazing chemistry – and we did. Idina and I were just one of those one-of-a-kind pairs who work together beautifully that only come along every so often.

Even still, I never would have thought that I would end up falling madly, head-over-heels in love with her. It was something that kind of just _happened _– neither of us really knew exactly what was going on and neither of us ever anticipated anything. By the time we realized that there was something a lot deeper between us at all, it was too late to even try to change anything. I still wasn't entirely sure of my sexuality at all, but the one thing I knew for sure was that I loved Idina, and –

"Kris?"

"Hm?" I said, my head snapping up as I came back to reality from my short reverie.

"Do you want me to help with anything?" she asked me from her place at the table.

"No, no," I waved my hand in dismissal. "You stay there – I've got it, don't worry."

* * *

Later on, after dinner and after Walker had gotten to sleep, Idina and I lay together on her bed, cuddling in our pajamas. We couldn't have been closer to each other – her arms were wrapped around me while I had my head resting on her shoulder and our faces were nearly pressed together. Our legs were intertwined with each other's and my arm was drooped lazily over her waist. Neither of us said anything, but we didn't have to. It was peaceful. She had her head tilted so that her lips were pressed to my cheek – she kept planting tiny kisses there, and it was really relaxing... I loved just being there in her arms; I felt so at home. I was kind of starting to doze off...

"Kris, sweetheart?" I felt her words buzz across my skin.

"Mm," I managed to mumble. My eyes were closed and half of my face was buried in her hair.

She pulled back from me a bit and I opened my eyes as she brushed some of her hair out of the way. "I've been meaning to talk to you about something – I just keep forgetting."

"What is it, honey?" I asked her, lacing her fingers through mine and trying to act somewhat alive.

She let out a small sigh, giving me a bit of a peculiar look. "Taye is coming here to pick up Walker tomorrow."

"...Oh."

Oh.

Great.

_Fantastic_.

She shot me a bit of a smirk. "I know..." she murmured, wrapping her arm back around me, and we assumed our original positions – but this time she rested her chin on the top of my head, and my face was turned in towards her neck.

"What are we going to do?" I wondered out loud. I simply couldn't imagine a possible scenario in my head that _wasn't_ going to be painfully awkward.

She sighed. "God, I actually have no idea... I've hardly even thought about it until now... Maybe you could just go into another room when he shows up?"

"Yeah, I could... but... I kind of want to say goodbye to Walker..."

"Oh, ah, right... Ah... well... shit."

I couldn't help but giggle. "Dee, I think we should just tell him. I mean, if we don't, Walker's bound to say something otherwise... The kid's got verbal diarrhea."

She laughed this time. "Oh, you're right... God, this is going to be _so _awkward."

I had to laugh again. "Oh, please – you're telling _me_!"

"It's going to be horrible for _both _of us..."

I buried my face in her shoulder, unable to stop laughing. "What are we even going to _say_?!"

"We... we... we'll just... we'll just tell him that... Wait, no... that won't be... umm, okay. Well I'll say: 'Taye, you remember Kristin, right?' and he'll say 'yes'. And we'll let him ask the questions."

A moment of silence passed before we both just burst out laughing again.

"Oh my goodness, Dee... we are terrible people! He's going to wonder how the heck we ended up together..."

"He's going to wonder that no matter what, honey."

I sighed. "He's probably going to figure out that we... had an affair."

She sighed as well, running her hand up and down my back. "He probably suspected it a long time ago, sweetheart. It won't come as a surprise to him."

I was quiet for a long moment, my stomach starting to churn uneasily. "I feel so awful..."

"Oh, baby, don't," she murmured, wrapping her arms even tighter around me. "It was a long time ago – what's done is done... and besides, he's already moved on, anyway."

I pulled back to look at her, shocked. "He has?!"

She nodded slowly, a bit of a stony expression on her face. "Yeah. He's with some... supermodel chick. He'd been fooling around for months before we even split up..."

My heart felt like it had just crumbled – I simply couldn't bear to see her looking so hurt over it. "Oh my goodness, Idina, sweetheart..." I saw her lips turn up into a pout and I felt my heart break all over again as a few tears rolled down her cheeks. "Baby, look at me."

She sniffled quietly and slowly met my eyes as I placed my hands on either side of her face. "Do not – do _not _even _think _about putting yourself down for his stupid actions. You know, I don't know Taye as well as you do, but man – the guy's _got _to be a real idiot to give up a lady as amazing as you," I told her honestly, making her laugh. "He doesn't _deserve _you, Dee. I don't know who the heck he's dating, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is a downgrade – supermodel or not. You are the most amazing woman I've ever met, sweetheart – I'm the luckiest gal on the planet, I really am."

"Oh, Kris," she squeaked, tears welling up in her eyes again as she took my face in her hands. "You are so sweet. I love you so much," she murmured, leaning in to kiss me softly.

"I love you, too," I mumbled against her mouth, kissing her back once more before we resumed our super-comfortable cuddling arrangement once again. "You know, I don't even feel bad at _all _anymore. In fact, I can't _wait_ to tell him that his wife is now in much better hands..."

She nuzzled her face up against mine. "You mean, soon-to-be-_ex_-wife."

* * *

"Walker, is there anything else you want to bring? Daddy will be here any minute now."

Walker did one last inspection of his room as Idina and I leaned inside the doorframe. It was the following morning, and things had been a little bit hectic trying to get Walker all ready for his visit to L.A. It was going to be really strange when he left... and kinda nice, at the same time. As much as we both loved him, we were both itching for some time to ourselves – and not _just _for sex... though we both agreed that that was a big plus.

I felt kind of bad, because I was really anxious for Walker to leave... and not because I _wanted _him to leave, but because I was just way too worked up over the whole 'Taye' thing. I had lost a tremendous amount of respect for him when I found out that he'd been unfaithful to Dee – but that still definitely wasn't a game changer for me. He still had no idea that we were together, and it was going to be awkward no matter what. I just wanted it all to be over and done with...

"Kris?"

"Hm? What?" my head snapped back up. I hadn't realized that I'd completely zoned out.

"Are you okay, honey?" Idina looked at me worriedly, taking my hand in hers. I went over to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, leaning against her as she put her own arms around me.

I let out a little sigh. "I just want this to get this over with..."

"Don't worry, sweetheart. It's going to be fine," she assured me, kissing me on the forehead as I just hugged her closer to me. I knew that my worrying was probably pointless, but I couldn't help it.

Just then, Walker came back up to us.

"Got everything, honey?" Idina asked him.

He nodded. "I think so!"

Then we heard a knock on the door.

"DADDY!" Walker shrieked, running in the direction of the door.

Ah, shit.

I must've looked horrified, because Idina sort of giggled at me. "Oh, baby, come here..."

Before I could register what was going on, my back was being pressed against the doorframe and Idina's lips suddenly crashed down against mine, taking me completely by surprise.

"It's going to be _fine, _sweetie," she told me intently after she pulled away, resting her hand against my cheek. I was a little dazed after that kiss.

Unable to say anything else, I just put my hand on the back of her head, guiding her lips back to mine again. Maybe if we made out for a long enough time, Taye and the rest of the world would just evaporate around us. We'd be too busy to notice or even care.

"MOMMY OPEN THE DOOR!" we heard Walker screech in the distance.

We both grunted in frustration as we were forced to put an end to our kiss.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Idina called out to him impatiently.

"You sure will be later," I winked at her.

She gasped loudly, her mouth flopping open in shock. "Kristin! You devil!" she exclaimed, smacking me on the butt as I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I just couldn't help myself.

"Come on," she rolled her eyes at me while stifling her smile, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the door. I was reminded all too quickly of my impending doom and how it was just about to arrive. Suddenly I felt overwhelmingly queasy.

_Oh, God. I don't want to do this. Is it too late to go hide in one of the other rooms?!_

Before I could even register what the heck was happening, Idina was opening the front door.

Oh God.

"Daddy!" Walker shrieked with delight, running into his father's arms.

Ugh. This was already far too awkward for me – usually I was able to handle myself fairly well, but today was not one of those days. I just wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Maybe I could take Dee with me. Or maybe Taye could just disappear. Yeah, that would probably be better.

"Hey, kiddo," he chuckled as he stood up, facing Dee.

"Hey, you remember Kristin, right?" she blurted out before he even had the chance to glance in my direction. All I did was gulp and stand there stock still, so she yanked me over beside her, trying (and failing) to make it seem like this wasn't the most awkward thing in the world.

At last, he looked at me, a perplexed expression overcoming his features. "Uhh... yeah?"

Oh, he remembered me alright.

"Kristin is AWESOME!" Walker suddenly yelled, and I couldn't help but grin at him. I was glad that at least he thought so.

Taye just stared at the two of us for a long moment, then he looked directly at me. "Are you... visiting, or something?" he asked suspiciously.

I opened my mouth but no words were coming out. "I-I, um, ah-"

"No," Idina interjected for me. "She's... she's been helping me out with Walker."

He still looked extremely confused. You could literally _feel _the tension in the room as he glanced again at us and then down at our hands. "Are you guys... together?"

It was dead silent for about half a second.

"Yes. We are," Idina said firmly. I felt her squeeze my hand as I gulped again nervously.

"Kristin's my other mommy now," Walker announced happily, hugging my legs. I smiled down at him and placed a hand on his head, avoiding having to look at Taye. I wasn't even sure if he was looking at me or Idina, but I definitely didn't intend on finding out.

"Well... Walker, we should get going," he said after a minute. I knelt down so that I could hug him.

"Bye, mama," he said quietly, making my heart melt as I squeezed him just a bit tighter and snuck a kiss on his cheek.

"Bye, sweetie," I murmured quietly back to him. I didn't feel comfortable saying anything else with Taye practically watching over us. I stood up as he ran over to Idina, who scooped him up in her arms.

"You be good, okay?" she said, powdering his face with kisses as he squealed in protest. She set him back down and he went over to Taye, putting his backpack on as Taye took his suitcase.

"You ready to go?" he asked him.

"Yup!" he nodded enthusiastically.

"I'll talk to you later," he said to Idina as he started to open the door.

"Alright," she nodded once. "Bye, honey! Love you!" she called after Walker.

"Bye!" he waved as they walked out the door.

Idina and I both seemed to hold our breath for a moment after the door had shut. After a few seconds had passed by, we both exhaled in relief as I immediately collapsed in her arms.

"It's okay, honey," she murmured to me as she wrapped her arms tightly around me, lightly pressing a kiss on the top of my head. I couldn't bring myself to say anything or even move. I suddenly felt extremely tired, and my whole body just felt limp.

Idina picked me up in her arms just like a child, my arms draped around her neck with my head resting against her shoulder and my legs wrapped around her hips. She carried me right back to her bedroom and sat on the bed, but I clung to her, not planning on letting go any time soon.

"Baby, are you okay?" she asked me gently as she kissed my jaw line. "It's all over now, you don't have to worry about it anymore..."

"He hates me," I managed to squeak out. My mouth felt like it was permanently sewn shut. I know it _seemed _like I was making a big deal out of the situation, but I just had this intense fear of people hating me, and at that moment I just couldn't handle it...

"Oh sweetheart, he doesn't _hate _you," she assured me, running her hands along my back. "He's just resentful – but he has no right to be. You shouldn't care about what he thinks, honey. You're the sweetest cutie pie that I know, and you'd better believe it."

I had to giggle at that. "Oh my goodness, Dee – really?!"

"Really. But seriously, don't worry about him, baby. If he has any kind of problem at all, I'll take care of it."

I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion. "I love you so much."

"I love you," she murmured back to me, slowly tilting up my chin and leaning in to kiss me as I felt a rush course through me. I sat up in her lap with my arms still wrapped around her neck as I kissed her more deeply, feeling her hands grip my hips just a little bit more tightly.

After a few moments, our kiss slowed down a bit as we came to an eventual stop, leaning our foreheads against each other's.

"I think... I know something we can do that will make us both feel better," she whispered to me knowingly, her lips turning up into a sly smirk.

I grinned back at her. "I think I know, too... and I think that you're right," I said, smiling and leaning back in to kiss her again. We both laughed as we flopped down against the bed, Idina on top of me and bombarding me with kisses all over.

Something made me feel like maybe today wouldn't turn out so badly after all.


	8. Secrets Don't Stay Secret Forever

**A/N: **Hey guys! I just realized that it's been 10 days since I last updated, for some reason it feels like it was a lot sooner than that – but anyway, here's the next chapter! It starts off with a flashback and then the second half of the chapter takes place directly after the events in Chapter 7. It's also written in third person, which is weird for me after writing in first person so much, but I like that I can both of their points of view. Hope you enjoy this, and beware of some explicit sexual content coming your way! Thanks for reading and for your support! Reviews are always much appreciated. :)

* * *

One late Sunday evening at the Gershwin, a slightly-hopeful Kristin Chenoweth quietly padded through the deserted hallways backstage, looking for her... somewhat-girlfriend. She really had no idea what she was supposed to call her. They weren't quite friends, weren't quite lovers... just somewhere in between. Not to mention they had to be a secret, whatever they were.

Idina had told her to come to her dressing room right before she left for the night – apparently she had some kind of news for her. She had no clue what it was – but all she could think about was the way Idina looked at her, touched her, kissed her... She was too distracted to even think about what she might have to tell her. Just the mere thought of them alone together sent shivers up her spine.

At last, she'd reached the room she was looking for. Realizing she was feeling a bit... unlike her usual self, she shook out her shoulders, trying to get her breathing to regulate to a more natural rate.

_Get a hold of yourself, girl._

She couldn't help but think that someone ought to dump a bucket of ice water over her head just then.

Idina was just running a towel through her thick, dark hair after her shower when she heard a knock on her door. Remembering who she was expecting, she grinned maniacally, chucking the towel elsewhere as she went to answer it.

Kristin's breathing automatically hitched as the door swung open, her heart pounding unrelentlessly as her gaze locked with the taller brunette woman's before her. She couldn't help but feel that all-too familiar sting of envy again – Idina wasn't even wearing a stitch of makeup, and yet Kristin still found herself in awe of her beauty. It just wasn't fair.

"Hey, Dee—" she barely managed to stammer out before Idina pulled her inside the dressing room with the gentlest force, grabbing her and kissing her passionately, causing them both to lean back against the door as it closed.

Kristin gasped as Idina's lips crashed down on hers for the second time, finding herself struggling to remember basic information such as her name and whereabouts. Helplessly, she managed to wrap her arms around Idina's neck, clutching her desperately as her kisses grew deeper and more intense. Idina pressed their bodies even closer together and grabbed Kristin's butt, making her gasp into their kiss. They hadn't had a make out session this heated before, and Kristin wasn't even sure if she could handle Idina being so close to her.

Gradually, their kisses slowed down slightly, and Idina finally pulled away, leaving them both nearly breathless.

"God almighty, what's gotten into you tonight?!" Kristin exclaimed, her chest heaving up and down rapidly.

Idina just smirked, slowly leaning their foreheads together as they caught their breath. Her hands were still roaming over Kristin's butt – she bit her lip, trying to keep her composure.

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" Idina asked her quietly, a dark look in her eyes.

She gulped nervously as an excited shiver ran down her spine, making her feel warm all over.

_Calm down, Kris. First things first,_ she told herself.

"B-but what about...?"

"Taye? He's in LA until Wednesday."

She nodded slowly, thinking it over.

"Is something wrong, honey?" Idina asked her after she'd been silent for a few beats, showing genuine concern and affection in her eyes as she gently brushed a finger down her cheek.

Kristin shifted uncomfortably, letting out a little sigh. "It's just... I... It doesn't feel right."

Idina's brow furrowed worriedly. "What doesn't, sweetie?"

"It's not you, honey," she assured her, placing a hand against her cheek, which Idina took in hers, gently pressing a kiss to it. "I just... don't think I would feel okay, being in your apartment... even if Taye's not there... you know what I mean?"

Idina processed this silently. "Would you rather go to your place instead?"

Kristin thought this over for a long moment. It was still wrong, what they were doing... but she realized that even if she refused Idina now, it was bound to happen eventually. She doubted that she would be able to resist her for much longer – what they shared was just simply too powerful.

At last, she nodded, and felt Idina wrap her arms around her tightly, nuzzling her head in the crook of her neck.

"You know that I love you, Kris," she said quietly, gently placing a kiss on her jaw line.

"I love you," Kristin murmured as their gazes met, and Idina leaned in to kiss her softly. "So much."

The two of them slid into a taxi cab some minutes later. Kristin told the driver her address and Idina pulled her into her lap, trailing kisses up and down her neck the entire time.

"Idina, cut it out," Kristin whispered to her shakily, feeling uncomfortable and slightly embarrassed as the cab driver shot the pair a few questioning glances through the rear-view mirror. She just wanted to get to her apartment already. She was antsy before, but now her skin felt like it was on fire, and she was struggling to stay quiet. She was driving her absolutely nuts.

All of the sudden, Idina's hand was running up her thigh, just sliding underneath the hem of her skirt.

"Don't you dare!" she hissed, slapping her hand away, even though she didn't _really_ want her to stop.

"Baby, he's not paying attention," Idina whispered in her ear as she continued to kiss her neck, her arms now wrapped securely around her waist.

She sighed in both exasperation and sexual frustration. "Well you're not making this very easy for me..."

"And what fun would that be?" she grinned, suddenly biting down on her neck. Kristin gasped, having to clamp a hand over her mouth not to cry out.

"You are so _dead_," she breathed huskily, followed by a mischievous giggle from Idina. Kristin glanced out the window of the cab – thankfully, they were almost there.

When they finally arrived, Kristin opened her wallet to pay the driver.

"Baby, I got it," Idina told her, rummaging through her purse.

Kristin just rolled her eyes at her as she tossed a wad of cash into the front seat, mumbling a 'thanks' as she practically ran out of the cab.

Idina caught up to her shortly after, taking her hand in hers and not really caring who saw. Nobody was really paying attention, anyway.

When they finally got up to Kristin's apartment, she expected Idina to glance around a bit to check out her place, but she did no such thing. She just wouldn't take her eyes off of her. Nobody had ever looked at her the way that Idina did – with such passion, admiration, and affection.

The two just stood in the doorway for moment, staring. Slowly, they inched towards each other, and kissed each other passionately, ending up leaning against the wall. Their kiss deepened as their bodies meshed even closer together, Kristin's hands sliding around Idina's butt while Idina's reached up to cup Kristin's breasts. Gradually, they came to a stop, just staring at each other again. They didn't even really need to speak; they both knew what they wanted.

They separated for a moment, kicking off their shoes. Idina's arms soon found their way back around Kristin's waist, hugging her from behind.

"Lead the way, baby," she whispered in her ear as Kristin forced her legs to move, her hands gripping Idina's tightly. She felt like she was in a dream, as if none of this could possibly be real. It just seemed too good to be true.

Before she knew what was happening, she was lying on her bed with Idina on top of her. The two kissed each other tenderly, both trying to savour the moment as if it were about to fade away before their eyes.

Idina was about to lift the fabric of Kristin's shirt when she hesitated. "Are you sure you want to do this, Kris?"

With a nervous churning in the pits of her stomach, Kristin just nodded wordlessly. She couldn't even speak. Idina had her; there was no going back now.

A certain softness overcame Idina's features as she leaned down to kiss her softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Kristin replied, shivering as Idina's smooth fingertips caressed the skin of her stomach right before pulling off her shirt, then moving down to remove her skirt. She then felt a shiver throughout her whole body, now that she was nearly fully exposed. She reached up to pull off Idina's shirt before unzipping her jeans, helping her shimmy out of them.

Idina leaned down to kiss practically every inch of her torso, starting from below her belly button and working her way up. Her hands slid around Kristin's back and she felt her bra slowly come off of her, blushing as she sensed Idina's eyes on her. A moan then escaped her lips as she felt her kissing and caressing her breasts with her tongue.

"Idina..." she murmured, lacing her fingers through her hair as she continued to fondle her chest. She gasped as she took her nipple in her mouth and gently dragged it through her teeth. She sucked on it before flicking her tongue against it lightly, then repeated her same actions on her other breast.

Leaving Kristin nearly breathless afterwards, she then trailed kisses from her collarbone up to her neck and jaw line.

"You're beautiful," she said against her skin, causing Kristin to suddenly feel an overwhelming surge of emotion. She wrapped her arms around Idina's neck and kissed her gently on the lips.

"That means so much coming from you," she whispered, gazing into her eyes dreamily.

Kristin's breathing staggered as Idina's hand ran down the side of her bare torso, over her hip and back underneath her thigh, making her squirm with impatience.

"Dee, please... I need you," she begged as her hand continued to caress her thigh.

Bending down to kiss Kristin on the lips just once more, Idina lay on top of her – but this time she felt her hand travel down the middle of her torso, her breathing hitching once again as she reached closer and closer to her underwear.

"Mmm..." Kristin groaned as she felt her hand cup her centre. "Please touch me, Dee," she pleaded, nearly panting at this point.

Kristin held her breath as Idina's fingers slipped beneath her underwear, gasping again as she ran her fingers softly against her entrance.

"Oh, baby you're so wet," Idina murmured, kissing her and sucking on her bottom lip, nearly making Kristin go insane.

She squirmed as she rubbed her clit gently with just the right amount of pressure, making her moan almost uncontrollably. She then sighed in relief and anticipation as she eased one of her fingers inside of her, then another. Idina reached deep inside of her, curling her fingers and stroking them against her, starting with slow, steady pulses and gradually increasing her speed.

"Mm, oh, Idina, yes," Kristin sighed, hardly being able to stifle her cries as she began to pick up the pace, starting to thrust inside of her. "Harder, Dee... OH," she cried out as she quickly got her wish. Idina was so good; she didn't think that she'd ever been so turned on in her life.

She thrust harder and deeper inside of her, all while quickening her pace, and Kristin felt herself quickly getting closer and closer. She could hardly control the sounds she was making.

"I-I'm gonna... c-c-co... Oh, Dee..." she panted, gripping her even tighter.

"Come for me, baby... Let go, sweetie; let go..." she gently urged her, bowing her head to gently kiss her shoulder. It was in these moments that Idina completely forgot about the world around her. All she was focused on was her and Kristin, as if they were the only two people who ever existed. She was happy to be making love to the woman she inevitably fell for, and despite how supposedly 'wrong' it was... Idina felt like there was nowhere on the planet that she would rather be. At that moment, Kristin was the absolute only thing she cared about. Nothing else seemed to matter.

"Mm... Oh... Idina... Idina!" Kristin at last cried out as her orgasm hit her forcefully, rippling through her entire body as she gasped and moaned out of pure pleasure.

Idina kept her eyes on Kristin, her chest quickly heaving up and down as her breathing gradually slowed. She gently pulled out of her, licking her fingers, and smiled at her softly as she slowly opened her eyes. She then bent down, wrapping her arms around her torso and leaning her forehead against hers, their noses brushing together.

"Oh, Dee..." Kristin sighed gently. "That was just... amazing."

She smiled, gently brushing a finger against her cheek. "You're so beautiful, Kris... I love you so much."

Kristin just could not stifle her smile, feeling herself blush deeply as she placed her hands on Idina's cheeks. "I love you..." she murmured as Idina closed the short distance between them, kissing her tenderly. Dee was suddenly surprised when Kristin sucked on her bottom lip, making her moan gently in the back of her throat. She pulled away after a moment, only to see Kristin grinning beneath her deviously.

"My turn, honey."

* * *

Kristin wasn't sure whether it was the sound of a cell phone ringing distantly or if it was the movement of the woman beneath her that woke her up later that day. She groaned softly as her lover slipped out from under her, and she found that her face was now pressed against the sheets on top of the mattress. She heard some faint rustling nearby.

"I'll be right back, sweetheart," she heard a very familiar voice whisper, and her lips turned up into a contented smile as she felt Idina press a soft kiss to her cheek. Even more faintly, she heard her answer the call and walk briskly out of the room, feeling herself quickly dozing off again...

Idina quietly padded into her living room, rubbing her eyes drowsily as she plopped herself down on the couch. "Taye? Did you guys make it to LA okay? Where's Walker?"

"Yeah yeah, everything's fine; he's just watching TV for a bit. Don't you think you owe me some kind of explanation for what happened earlier?"

Idina was suddenly taken aback, blinking in confusion. She felt much more awake now. "Excuse me? An _explanation_?"

"Yeah – as in, why you didn't tell me that you were in a relationship – and with Kristin Chenoweth, of all people?"

Idina instantly felt her rage bubbling up at his mention of Kristin. 'Of all people'? What the fuck was _that _supposed to mean?! "I'm sorry, since when is it _any _of your business who I'm seeing?" she spat out sarcastically.

"Since we have a son together, and since he's _our_ son I think I have a right to know what's going on before you decide to involve him in your relationship."

Her anger was only intensifying with each word that he spoke. "Okay, _look_. You never informed _me_ that you were dating that... Amanda chick, or whatever the fuck her name is. And it's not like _I'm_ not the one going out and partying at strip clubs in my spare time, so... I don't think you need to worry about Walker when he's with me. I'm staying out of the business of your relationship, so it's only fair that you stay out of mine."

Taye said nothing for a few seconds. "I just don't understand why you're with _her_."

"Because I love her!" Idina blurted out before she could stop herself, clamping a hand over her mouth. The line went dead silent for a few beats.

"You've loved her all along, haven't you?"

Idina just couldn't bring herself to answer his question, rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Just... get Walker to call me before he goes to bed, please."

Idina sniffled as she padded back to her bedroom, feeling exhausted all over again. She relaxed slightly at the sight of Kristin sleeping soundly in her bed – she just looked so peaceful, and she was glad that she hadn't been awake to witness that stupid phone conversation.

Taking her robe back off, she got back underneath the covers and took Kristin in her arms, cuddling her close to her and nuzzling her face in the crook of her neck, trying her best not to cry.

Slowly, Kristin faded back into consciousness at the realization that Idina was squeezing her with some kind of inhuman force. Instantly, she sensed that something was wrong. "Dee? Dee what's wrong, honey?"

She tried to pull back from her slightly, just so that she could see her face, but Idina just squeezed her even tighter. She let out a bit of a worried sigh. "Idina, baby... Please talk to me, sweetheart," she murmured, nuzzling her nose against the side of her face and gently kissing her cheek. "What happened?"

She let out a shaky sigh. "I... I talked to Taye."

Kristin bit her lip, finally leaning back slightly to look at her, taking her face in her hands. Idina just wouldn't meet her eyes. "Oh, honey... I'm sorry. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"He... He just... For some reason he expected me to tell him that we were together before I 'involved' Walker in our relationship... So I basically told him that he doesn't need to worry about Walker when he's with me. And he said he 'just doesn't understand' why I'm with you. And then I blurted out that I'm in love with you... and he said, 'you've loved her all along, haven't you.' And I couldn't say no..." she trailed off, tears trailing down her cheeks.

Kristin felt her heart slowly breaking; she just couldn't bear to see Idina upset. "Idina, sweetheart... Oh, please don't be so upset over this, honey. He's only being like this now because you've hurt his ego. Don't let him make you feel guilty. You're an amazing mom, Dee – and it's absolutely none of his business who you decide to see."

Idina sniffled, her tears slowing a bit. "Thank you, Kris... I think you might be right."

"I usually am," she joked, gently wiping her tears away. "I love you, Dee."

"I love you so much, Kris," she murmured, kissing her softly. "I promise you that I would never regret being with you, no matter what Taye says."

Kristin couldn't help but smile at her. "Me either, Dee; me either," she said, suddenly yawning. "Do you wanna go back to sleep?"

"_Yes_," Idina answered immediately, and the two of them cuddled up together again in their original positions – Idina lying on her back and Kristin lying right on top of her.

Kristin smiled up at her, giving her a quick peck on the lips. "Sweet dreams, baby."


	9. Long Distance

**A/N: **Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter; sorry it's kind of short. It was either short(er) or way too long and a much longer wait. We've fast forwarded in time a bit since the last chapter, just so you know. Hope you enjoy it, and reviews are great as always! Thanks for you support. :)

* * *

Kristin groaned as the alarm set on her phone went off obnoxiously. She didn't want to think about what time it was - all she knew was that it was far too early to even be thinking about being awake.

She reached over and hit snooze, settling back into her bed. Next to her, Idina stirred quietly - her arms wrapped loosely around the blonde's waist.

"Baby..." Kristin heard her murmur groggily, nearly inaudible. She was already having trouble keeping herself from dozing off again.

"Mm?" she hummed in reply, too sleepy to formulate a proper response.

"Do you _really_ have to leave?" Idina whined, her voice thick with dread and dismay.

Kristin sighed, frowning. "Sadly, yes."

It was the day that she was leaving for her concert in London, and neither of them wanted to be separated from each other. At all.

Immediately she felt Idina's arms wrap more tightly around her waist, pulling them even closer together. "Not anymore. You're not going anywhere," she breathed, nuzzling her face in her hair.

Frowning still, Kristin ran a hand gently over her forearm. "Oh believe me, honey; I don't _want_ to go anywhere... not without you, anyway."

Her grip tightened once again. "Please don't leave me, Kris."

The blonde bit her lip in frustration. "'Dina, please don't make this harder for me than it already is. I'm not _leaving_ you, for Pete's sake."

"What will I do without you here?" she sniffled, burying her head into the crook of Kristin's neck. "Not even Walker is here to keep me company..."

"Oh, Dee," Kristin sighed as she turned around, now face-to-face with her. "Sweetheart, it's just one week. I'm always a phone call away and I'll be home before you know it."

"A phone call and an entire ocean away," she mumbled, not making eye contact.

She frowned at Idina, tilting her chin back up towards her. "You're going to be just fine, sweetie. Having some alone time can't possibly be the _worst_ thing for you."

All she did was continue to pout before she leaned in to embrace her tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much, though."

Kristin squeezed her back, feeling even more awful as she felt Idina trembling in her arms. "Oh, honey... Please don't cry... Shhh... Breathe, just breathe... It'll all be fine, I promise," she murmured in her attempt to console her. She wished that she wasn't so upset; it was hard enough leaving her to begin with, even if it was just for a short time.

Idina just kept her face pressed into her shoulder, really not wanting to let her go. She knew that she was being a bit overdramatic... but she and Kristin had been practically inseparable for the past few months or so, and she had no idea how she was going to handle being away from her for an entire week. "I'm sorry... I'm being stupid."

"You're not being stupid, Dee," Kristin sighed, leaning back to brush some of her hair out of her face. "Trust me, I feel the same way, sweetheart," she smiled at her gently, brushing her tears away. Their gazes met and they both leaned in to kiss each other softly, both trying to savour the moment. They pulled away slowly after a minute, leaning their foreheads together.

"I love you," Idina whispered.

"I love you, too, Dee - more than anything," she told her, gently brushing her finger against her cheek.

Idina couldn't help but smile against her touch. "You're going to kill it in London."

Kristin blushed, smiling modestly. "I hope so..."

"I know you will. You're amazing," she assured her, leaning in to give her another kiss. "I wish I could go and see you perform..."

"Me too, honey... One day, it'll happen. And maybe one day we'll perform together again."

Idina beamed at this. "I would like that very much," she grinned, kissing her again - but they were abruptly interrupted by Kristin's alarm going off again.

"Ughhh," she grunted in frustration, leaning over to shut it off. "I'm sorry, baby. I have to get in the shower."

Idina grabbed her hand just as she was getting out of bed. "Can I come?"

Kristin just stared at her for a moment, a smirk appearing on her face. "Fine. But no funny business, missy."

Idina grinned deviously, practically jumping out of bed and wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. "Not making any promises."

* * *

Before long, the couple found themselves in a taxi cab headed to JFK. Idina sat with her arms around Kristin; their hands grasped together tightly. Kristin's eyes were closed as she leaned against Idina, who placed slow, gentle kisses on her cheek. Neither of them said anything - neither of them wanted to - partially because they didn't want to speak in the presence of the cab driver and partially because they were content just sitting in each other's company.

"Looks like we're here," Kristin whispered, squeezing Idina's hand as the airport came into view. Idina simply hugged her more tightly, pressing a kiss to her neck.

When the cab came to a stop, the driver got out to get Kristin's suitcase from the trunk, and the two had their chance to say goodbye. They couldn't get out of the car because they both knew that there would likely be paparazzi everywhere.

Immediately, they threw their arms around each other tightly. Idina pulled back to look Kristin in the eyes, placing a hand against her cheek. "Call me as soon as you get there, okay?"

She simply nodded, and Idina leaned in to kiss her. "Have a great time, honey. And have a safe flight. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Kristin managed to say, wrapping her arms around Idina's neck and kissing her again. She was trying not to be on the verge of tears - she was trying to be strong for her, but it was difficult... more difficult than she could've imagined.

"I'll be home before you know it," she said shakily, quickly kissing her one last time. "I love you, Idina."

"I love you," Idina replied as Kristin got out of the cab. "I'll see you soon."

"I'll call you as soon as I can," she assured her, blowing her a kiss before she closed the door. Idina watched as the cab driver handed her her suitcase and Kristin got her things together. She felt the car restart and saw Kristin wave to her. She smiled sadly, waving back. She saw her smile back at her as the cab at last drove off, and her awful feelings really set in. She missed her already.

* * *

Kristin sat on the long flight to London, restless as ever. It was already bad enough being away from Idina, but the fact that she couldn't call or even text her for the next few hours was extremely unsettling for her. She didn't want to think about it anymore - she didn't really want to think at all for a little while, in all honesty - but she just couldn't help it. She used to hate plane rides for this exact reason...

For years, she was able to distract herself with work by cramming her schedule with as much as she could possibly handle. That way, she was so busy that she didn't have time to really think about things... but on a plane, she was stuck by herself and forced to be alone with her own thoughts. As hard as she tried, she just couldn't shut her mind off.

Now, it wasn't so bad, though. Things were better for her now that she had Idina and Walker... She'd never realized how much she'd disliked being alone until she had Idina back in her life. Even though she'd seen other people over the years, it just wasn't the same. Nothing ever seemed to last, and nothing ever seemed to give her the true happiness that Idina had given her. It only now occurred to her that she'd been fooling herself with all of those other guys. Some were just jerks, plain and simple... and some hadn't been all that bad... but it just never seemed to work. She had always wondered... Why? Was it her? Was the universe against her? Was she not destined to find love? Would she be alone for the rest of her life?

But she _had_ found love. Idina had been her true love all along – she'd just been too small-minded to realize it...

She really should've known it from the start. She had never shared something so amazing with anyone before. Nobody had ever made her feel the way Idina made her feel. Nobody had ever loved her in the way she did. She was so lucky that she had come back into her life - she had never been this happy. Everything seemed to be falling into place, for once.

* * *

Hours later, Idina lay in bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. She was back in Kristin's apartment... just because she felt like being there. It was kind of depressing, because she kept feeling like she would walk into the apartment in any minute and announce that she was home... but at least her place kind of felt a bit like she was still present. At Idina's apartment, it just seemed a lot emptier without her, and her absence was so much more noticeable. She wished that she could say that she had a decent excuse to be sulking around in her own self-pity, but really, the only reason she was still awake was because she was waiting for Kristin to call.

Normally she wouldn't even be this tired after a show, but missing Kristin all day had resulted in emotionally draining her even more, leaving her feeling absolutely exhausted. She just hated being without her - she felt so alone. The apartment was dead silent apart from the regular sounds of traffic outside, and she had no motivation or energy to focus on anything at that moment, so she was kind of just stuck how she was. She hoped that she would feel better after talking to Kristin, but there was really no way of knowing.

A few minutes later, the sound of her cell phone going off jolted her upright. She practically pounced on it, answering the call immediately.

"Kris?!"

"Hey, sweetheart."

Idina exhaled deeply, already feeling so much less tense after hearing her voice. "You got to London okay?"

"Yep; everything was just fine, honey. How was your show?"

She let out a little sigh. "Oh, it was alright. I'm so tired though... I miss you so much. I hated not being able to talk to you all day..."

Kristin frowned, automatically wishing she could be back at home with her. "I miss you too, baby... I just wish I could teleport home to see you right now."

Idina had to giggle at this. "How do you like London? Have you seen much of it yet?"

"No, not much yet... just a bit on the cab ride to the hotel. It's pretty late now, anyway... but I have a really nice view from my room – which is really fancy, too... but it would still be so much better if you were here."

Idina just smiled sadly. "Aww, I wish I could be... I promise we can go on vacation sometime soon."

Kristin just grinned to herself. "That sounds wonderful, honey. I think you could really use a break, Dee."

She sighed again, fiddling with her hair. "We both need to get away for a while..."

"Agreed. Just you and me... no interruptions."

Idina smirked deviously. "I hope you know that we're not leaving your bed for at _least_ one day when you get back."

The same grin appeared on Kristin's face. "Fine by me, sweet cheeks," she said, both of them giggling. "Did you talk to Walker today?"

"Yeah, he's the same as always... crazy. He seems to be having fun with Taye, so..." she couldn't help but roll her eyes just thinking about him.

Kristin had to laugh - she knew exactly what face Dee was making at that moment. "Oh, Dee... you know he loves us, too."

"I know... I just hate that this feels like a competition."

She frowned. "I'm sorry, honey. He's only young, though; don't worry... I'm sure he'll always love both of you just the same."

"I hope so. Sometimes I just wish that Taye could like, leave or something... but then I realize that Walker needs his dad," she sighed.

"Exactly. And at least you can trust Taye... He could be worse."

"You're right... I guess I just miss Walker."

"Me, too. Maybe we can all get on Skype tomorrow," Kristin suggested.

"I'd like that," Idina smiled.

"So what are you up to?"

"Ugh, nothing... I'm at your apartment," she smirked.

A bewildered expression appeared on Kristin's face. "What? What the heck are you doing there?!"

Idina burst out laughing. "I like your bed... Plus everything smells like you."

Kristin snorted. "You are so weird!" she exclaimed while Idina continued to laugh hysterically on the other end. "How did I end up with such a weirdo?"

She grinned. "You know you love me."

"You got me there," Kristin chuckled.

"What time is it there, anyway?"

"Ah... 12:30."

She frowned. "You should probably get to bed, sweetie."

Kristin sighed. "I guess. How in the heck am I supposed to sleep without you here?"

Idina giggled, despite the aching pain in her chest. "Ugh, I know. We'll just have to suck it up, won't we?"

She smiled to herself. "Yeah. I love you so much, Dee."

"I love you too, baby," she said, wishing she was there to kiss her good night. "I'll text you in the morning. Have fun, and take lots of pictures for me."

"Okay, sweet pea. Good night; love you."

"Love you, too. Sweet dreams, honey."


	10. Memories

**A/N: **Hello everyone, here's the update! There's a flashback in between this. Oh, and in case it isn't clear, this scene takes place sometime during the following day. Enjoy, and reviews are lovely! xxx

* * *

Idina heard the music, read the words – but she still could hardly believe her senses. Was this real? Of course it was... She couldn't possibly be imagining something like this, could she? She felt so stupid... how could she have not known about this before? She'd really been hurt because of her, hadn't she? And she hadn't even known... She felt so sick, regretting so much. Oh, great – now she couldn't stop crying. She could've sworn that this had seemed like a good idea at the time...

Shakily, she picked up her phone and dialled Kristin's number – she didn't even stop to think that she might have been busy. She was far too distraught to think properly.

Over in London, Kristin's iPhone buzzed with Idina's incoming call. She frowned, wondering why she was phoning her so randomly, and silently hoped that everything was okay as she answered it.

"'Dina? Is everything okay?"

Idina tried to take a deep breath to help calm herself down. "Kris, I have to ask you something..."

"Dee, are you crying? What's going on?" she asked urgently, her eyebrows furrowing in worry.

"Are these... are these songs about... us?"

Songs? What songs? Now she was just confused. "Huh? What songs, sweetheart?"

Idina sniffled, still having trouble holding back her tears. "You know... the songs off of your album. The country one."

Kristin paused for a moment, trying to piece together what the heck was going on over there. "Dee, why the heck are you listening to my CD right now?"

Idina hugged her knees to her chest, feeling really stupid but still extremely sad, despite herself. "Because I... because I miss you. I... I thought it would make it better..."

Kristin felt like her heart was literally breaking as she processed this. "Oh, Dee, honey... I'm so sorry, baby. I'm about to go into a rehearsal right now – I promise I'll call you as soon as I'm done, okay?"

Idina's heart just tugged more painfully at the thought of her hanging up. "But Kris... are they? About... us?"

She froze, biting her lip and feeling like she was going to cry herself. She was so frustrated that there was such a long distance separating them. All she wanted was to drop everything and rush back to her right away. "Can we maybe discuss this later, honey?"

Idina's lip quivered nervously. "Please, Kris? Can you tell me before you go?"

Kristin let out a shaky breath. "Uh, well... yes. Some of them were about us," she said, nearly gasping out loud as she heard Idina start crying even harder. "Oh, honey... oh no. Damn it," she muttered under her breath, nearly about to start cursing herself. She just wanted to be back in her apartment with her. Immediately. "Idina, sweetheart – please try to calm down. Breathe, just breathe... I promise we can talk about this later, okay? You know I can't bear to see you upset... Hang in there, sweetie. I love you so much."

"I love you," Idina somehow managed to choke out. "God, I'm sorry Kris... I don't know what's wrong with me..."

Kristin bit her lip, hating this so much. "Don't be sorry, honey. _I'm_ sorry that I can't be with you right now," she sighed gruffly, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. "Seriously, I love you. I love you more than Maddie loves her treats... and more than Walker loves Michael Jackson."

Idina giggled at this, and just the sound alone seemed to take a massive weight off of Kristin's shoulders. "Aww, I miss them... and I love you more than you love shopping."

Kristin gasped. "Goodness! You must love me a lot."

This made her giggle again, and Kristin couldn't hold back her smile. "You know I do, Kris... gosh, I'm really sorry for this."

"No, no, no. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it, Dee – I promise that it's okay," Kristin assured her.

Idina smiled, wiping her tears away with a shaky hand. She always found herself in awe of how Kristin never failed to make her feel so much better. "Anyway, you go and have a good rehearsal, honey. I love you so much."

"Thank you, sweetheart. I hope you feel better in the meantime. Love you! MWAH!" she exclaimed, making Idina laugh again with her ridiculous kissing noises.

"You're insane! I'll talk to you later, then?"

"Absolutely! Bye, Dee!"

"Bye, honey," Idina smiled as the line disconnected. Even though they were miles and miles away, Kristin somehow always managed to put a smile on her face, no matter what.

* * *

"Great show, darling," Idina said as she pulled Kristin close in her arms after they'd shut themselves in her dressing room after one of their Saturday matinees – both of them were still in costume. Although the two-show days were more tiring, they both still enjoyed it because it gave them an excuse to spend time together.

"You, too," Kristin giggled as Idina leaned in to kiss her. "What do you want to today, sweet pea?"

"Well, I need to shower first obviously," Idina laughed. "But then we are free to do whatever you want."

"I need to shower, too, actually," Kristin frowned. "The stupid bubble machine broke again and it leaked all over me."

"Oh honey, I'm sorry! Hey..." she said, a peculiar look suddenly appearing on her face. "What if today we shower together?"

"Oh?" Kristin raised her eyebrows at her in surprise and... curiosity?

"You know... to save water," Idina smirked, biting her lip cheekily. "And it wouldn't hurt to have someone help me get this makeup off of me, either."

Kristin just smirked back at her, shaking her head. "You, Ms. Menzel, are something else. Did you know that?"

Idina just grinned like a big goofball. "Oh, please. You know you want to get in the shower with me."

"Or is it _you_ that wants to get in the shower with _me_?" Kristin raised her eyebrow at her again, still smirking deviously. "I'm gonna go change, I'll be right back."

Idina quickly pulled her in for one more kiss, grinning at her softly. "Don't be long."

"I won't keep you waiting," Kristin winked before leaving the room.

A few minutes later, Kristin crept back into Idina's dressing room, grinning to herself at the faint sound of running water. She was already in the shower.

"Kris?" Idina called out after she'd let herself into the bathroom.

"Hey, lover," Kristin drawled in response, flinging her bathrobe onto one of the towel racks. She opened the glass door and stepped into the shower – but not before slyly checking out her butt first. Shivers went down her spine as she took in her dripping wet body – her arms and back were still green, but it didn't matter much to her.

"Ooh!" Idina jumped slightly and giggled in reaction to Kristin sliding her arms around her waist from behind. "Hi, sweetie."

Kristin grinned, kissing her slippery (and still green) shoulder. "Did you think I was someone else?"

Idina laughed again, turning around to face her. "I would've screamed my head off if that had been the case."

Kristin's smile just broadened, wrapping her arms around her neck and reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss her. Being with Idina just made her truly happy – even though her time spent with her was limited, she absolutely loved every minute that they had together.

They pulled away after a moment, both eyeing each other a bit shyly, making themselves burst out laughing.

"Okay, where's your cloth?" Kristin asked her, picking up one of her green arms as Idina handed it to her. She just grinned as Kristin started scrubbing her arm, both of them trying (and failing) not to check out each other's glistening body.

"You know, I think you should shower with me more often," Idina said after a minute.

Kristin laughed. "Wouldn't we get in some sort of trouble if someone found out?"

Idina just shrugged. "I don't even think that the cast would really care."

"You're probably right," she giggled, turning Idina around so she could get the back of her shoulders and neck.

"Okay, I think I'm done now," Kristin announced after a few more minutes, spinning her around once to make sure she didn't miss anything.

"You sure?"

"Hmm... Oh, Dee – you missed some spots on your face," she giggled, reaching up to wash them away. "Okay... that's better," she smiled as Idina's eyes fluttered open after she rinsed her face, her gaze meeting Kristin's.

"Thank you," Idina told her, looking into her eyes intently as Kristin wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Of course, honey," she gazed back at her, reaching up to kiss her again. Idina bit down on her lip softly, suddenly making their sweet kiss not quite so innocent. Kristin slid her tongue into Idina's mouth, tracing her lips before she sucked on her bottom lip, surprising the brunette in the most pleasant way possible. She then pulled away to kiss her jaw line and neck, taking her time with each kiss - each one was passionate and deliberate, making Idina sigh quietly in satisfaction. With a devious look, Kristin gently pushed her against the glass panel of the shower, pressing her hands against her stomach as she bent down further to kiss her breasts.

"Oh, Kristin," Idina murmured as she took her nipple in her mouth, sucking and flicking her tongue against it. Seeing Kristin soaking wet and naked, combined with what she was doing was all just too much for her. "Mm, honey," she sighed, lacing her fingers through her damp hair.

After she was done teasing her breasts, Kristin continued to move downward, kissing her sleek stomach, making her breathing quicken and her anticipation grow stronger at a rapid pace.

Giving Idina a sly look, Kristin got on her knees and ran her hands up her legs, nearly making the brunette tremble under her touch. Then, all of the sudden she gasped as she felt Kristin's tongue inside of her, moving all around. Her arms locked tightly around her thighs as she reached deeper, flicking her tongue rapidly against her special spots and sucking on her clit. She was ruthless - the things she was doing to her were insane. She had her gasping, writhing and moaning almost uncontrollably. Kristin didn't stop until Idina came forcefully against her, nearly screaming out loud as a result.

"Kristin... oh my god..." she panted, her knees trembling. She wasn't even sure if she was able to stand on her own after that.

Kristin stood up, wiping her mouth and giving Idina a sexy look while she caught her breath. "Did you enjoy that, honey?"

"Oh, you are so gonna get it," Idina warned, making her grin before she found herself being shoved against the other panel of the shower.

"Oh... ohhhh," Kristin moaned as Idina licked and sucked on her breasts, gasping as she felt her gently bite down on her nipple.

"Mm... I like this kind of payback," the tiny blonde panted as she continued to fondle her breasts.

"Oh, Dee," Kristin cried out as Idina suddenly slipped her fingers inside of her, immediately starting to thrust into her. She was definitely having no mercy on her. Kristin's breathing got quicker and quicker as Idina went faster and harder, not wasting any time.

"Oh, oh... Idina," she panted as she got closer, gripping the brunette tightly as she leaned her head back against the glass.

It wasn't long before her orgasm rippled through her leaving her breathless, gasping and squeezing Idina with all of her remaining strength.

"Ohhhhh my goodness," Kristin sighed, slumping against the glass panel as Idina scooped her up in her arms, wrapping her legs around her waist. Weakly, Kristin placed her hands on Idina's shoulders as the taller woman leaned in to kiss her softly and gently, the water still cascading over them.

"That was so amazing, Dee," Kristin told her quietly, their faces barely inches apart.

"I agree," Idina replied, gently cupping her cheek with her hand. "Are you ready to get out?"

She just nodded, grinning. "I'm probably a gigantic prune by now."

Idina giggled, shutting the water off and hopping out for a minute to grab towels, wrapping herself in one first and then the other around Kristin. She just couldn't help but smile at the sight of her huddled up in the thick towel - her hair was a tangled mess and there was not a stitch of makeup left on her face, but Idina still thought that she was absolutely beautiful.

"You're so cute," she smiled widely, pecking her on the lips.

Kristin just grinned back at her from ear-to-ear, wrapping her arms around her neck and kissing her, her towel dropping to the ground in the process.

Idina laughed as they pulled away after a moment. "Well, looks like that's not going to work," she said, getting Kristin's robe, helping her into it and putting her own on as well. "Here, sweetie - let me brush out your hair," Idina beckoned to her, starting to untangle the knots. "How did you even get it into this rat's nest in the first place?"

"It just happens every time," Kristin chuckled, enjoying the feeling of Idina running the brush through her hair. She loved the little moments that they shared together, probably more than anything.

"Okay, all done," she announced after a minute, and Kristin simply situated herself into her arms, insisting on being carried again.

"Is it nap time yet?" she asked her, leaning her face against Idina's shoulder.

She just giggled. "It can be, if you want it to be."

"I'd like it to be nap time."

"Okay, honey," she grinned, carrying her off to the couch in her dressing room, lying down and arranging themselves so that they were comfy. Kristin cuddled up nice and cozy next to Idina - the younger woman could just tell that her lover was about ready to pass out at any second.

"'Dina?" Kristin suddenly mumbled quietly, her eyes already closed.

"Yes, sweetie," Idina murmured back, gently pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I think that we should fuck in the shower more often."

Idina burst out laughing, half at her comment and half in surprise at one of the rare occasions of her little Kristin dropping the f-bomb.

"I agree, honey; I agree," she said, nuzzling her face against hers.

"I love you, Idina."

"I love you, too, baby," Idina replied, softly pressing a kiss to her lips. "Sweet dreams, my darling."

* * *

A few hours later, Idina found herself suddenly jolted awake by the ear-piercing noise coming from her phone. It took her a few seconds to figure out what was actually happening – she hadn't realized that she'd fallen asleep, and her loud ringtone had shocked her. Not to mention, she was a little dazed at how clearly and explicitly she'd dreamt of that distant memory at the Gershwin... not that she would ever forget it. She reached for her phone, smiling sleepily at the call display – it was Kristin, of course.

"Hey, baby," she murmured lazily, stretching herself out.

Kristin exhaled deeply, relieved that Idina seemed to be a lot more calm than when she had last spoken to her. "Hey, darling. Are you feeling any better?"

Idina couldn't stop herself from giggling. "I fell asleep."

Kristin just grinned, shaking her head. "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Oh, shush," she laughed. "I had the best dream..."

"What was it?" she asked her curiously.

"Remember that time, at the Gershwin? In the shower?"

A massive grin appeared on the blonde's face. "Which time?"

"The first time."

She raised her eyebrows, smirking. "Oh... _oh. _I do remember that. How could I possibly forget it?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking," Idina chuckled. "Anyway, before we get too carried away... how was your rehearsal?"

"Oh, fine... I was mostly just worried about you..."

Idina frowned. "You don't need to worry about me, honey..."

"I can't help it," she countered, rubbing the bridge of her nose in her exasperation. "I can't stand being so far away from you."

Idina's frown deepened, her heart suddenly aching painfully. "Me either... I can't wait for you to come home."

"Me either, baby – me either," she agreed, sighing.

"I didn't know you wrote songs about us," Idina commented idly after a moment.

"Yeah... surprise," Kristin grimaced, feeling guilty that she had to find out that way.

Idina pouted, feeling awful about everything as well. "God, I... I'm so sorry, Kris."

"Huh? Sorry for what?" she asked, confused.

She breathed out shakily, feeling tears coming on again. "For... for everything. I... I shouldn't have given up on us. I should've known that we were really meant to be... I let you slip away from me way too easily... and it really hurt you, I-I... I just feel so awful."

"Oh, Dee... no, sweetie. Please don't say things like that; please don't feel bad... we were both at fault, okay? I shouldn't have left. Heck, there were a lot of things I shouldn't have done, but... just think of it this way: if we had done things differently, we wouldn't have Walker."

Idina silently processed this for a few moments. Kristin meant everything to her... but so did Walker. "Yeah... yeah, you're right."

"And besides... that was all so long ago. What matters now is that we're together, right?"

"Right," she agreed, just in awe of how everything had actually worked out for them. "Your music really is beautiful though, Kris."

Kristin smiled to herself. "Thank you, sweet pea. It isn't as beautiful as you, though."

At this, Idina instantly dissolved into giggles. "Okay... that was pretty bad."

She just grinned. "Oh, whatever. You're probably grinning like an idiot right now."

"Am not!" she exclaimed, though her smile just grew even wider.

"Are too!" Kristin bickered back. She knew her too well to be wrong.

The two of them just burst out laughing. "My goodness, we sound like a bunch of two-year-olds," Idina giggled.

"We'll end up hanging out with Walker's friends at some point," Kristin joked.

"The scary thing is... I can actually see it happening," she replied, cracking them both up again.

"I can't wait to come home and see you," Kristin said distantly, staring at the ceiling of her hotel room.

"I can't wait, either," Idina said, frowning. "How did we even manage to spend so many years away from each other?"

Kristin just shook her head. "I guess we just fooled ourselves."

"I promise I'll never leave you, Kris..."

"I won't leave you either, honey. I'm tired of making stupid mistakes."

"Me, too... I finally feel like I'm doing something right."

"That makes two of us, baby," Kristin smiled to herself. "Hey, do you think we could try Skyping with Walker now?"

"Sure, that sounds great! I'll call him right now," Idina said, suddenly feeling somewhat more energized.

"Okay, honey! Talk to you in a few," Kristin smiled, hanging up and getting out her laptop. She felt so bad about having to leave Dee by herself – she wanted to do some really special for her... She wasn't sure exactly what yet, but she was determined to somehow make it up to her.


End file.
